Dr. M

Last Post

2005-12-06T21:16:00.000-08:00

Hi all, this will be my last post at this address. My new blog: Dr. Melissa Clouthier can be found at www.drmelissaclouthier.blogspot.com. Or just click on the link up there and put it in your favorites.

Why the change? Well, when I first started, I wasn't sure that I wanted everyone to read my blog. Now, with a better understanding of how it works, my hope is that with my full name, it may reach a broader audience. We'll see. Also, it will more easily come up on searches (since my name already comes up when I'm googled--for better or worse.)

Will the content change? Probably not. Maybe a litte more business stuff. But real business people are often too busy to pay attention to this blog anyway. I try to keep my posts short, sister, really, I do!

Breastfeeding: USA Women Need Support

2005-12-06T06:50:00.000-08:00

Yes they do. Most women breastfeed or don't, the research says, based on a decision before the baby comes. But why do the legions of women quit early or never start when they know it is good for them and great for the baby? I have an idea: the woman is either a narcisstic, self-centered person who fears losing her body or wants to get back to work without the hassle or societal pressures make it nearly impossible to easily nurse. Or both.

A woman may not want to sacrifice so much while being shunned socially and losing her body at the same time. Who would do that, right? Let's see: Leers from men, dirty looks from older ladies (remember Barbara Walters stupidness?), public facilities which force women into dirty bathrooms if they want to breastfeed privately (mostly to avoid the leering and sneering), no time or facility at work conducive to the task, a woman must be extraordinarily confident and willing to suffer publicly to breastfeed.

Today, I am such a woman--when it comes to breastfeeding anyway. My child has been breastfed at the top of the Empire State Building (I kid not) and at every Disney theme park in Orlando, Florida--and not at the nursing stations only (who can walk ten miles with a crying baby to nurse? come on.)

But with the first kid, I nursed in dirty bathrooms (are there any other kind?) mostly to spare my child-free girlfriend embarassment. She had made very judgemental comments about her sister-in-law not having the sense to go to the bathroom to nurse. Very subtle.

What an idiot I was to be bullied. But as a new mom, you're not necessarily all pulled together in the baby department. You actually remember a time when your breast belonged to you and was a playground for your spoiled husband. No more. But as a new mother you're still trying to cling to some dignity.

Dignity? Buwahahaaaa! Time to do anything else? Eeeee heeee. (Evil shriek) That goes when children come. Women and men need to be taught what mammaries are for (and their primary purpose is to not to keep Hugh Hefner perpetually infantile): they are to feed babies. It's a boob with the perfect food.

Use it with pride, Sistuh!

Backpacks for Kids Too Heavy

2005-12-06T06:48:00.000-08:00

More research of the obvious. The new backpacks, my son has one, that you can pull, are great if the child must carry fifty pounds of books.

Miserable Marriage Bad For Health

2005-12-06T06:38:00.000-08:00

You might think that this may lead me to advocate bailing on a stress-filled marriage. No. Being single has its own health risks...for men. Women do okay, it seems.

Mature conflict resolution does not magically happen when you marry a new guy or girl. You're still in the relationship after all. The percentage of second marriages that fail is even higher.

So no, the solution is not divorce, it is to work on you--the only person you have control over. When I read this advice in the past it irritated the you-know-what out of me. But, it is true.

(NOTE: I am not talking about spouse abuse, child abuse, substance abuse, etc. All of you justifying putting up with that garbage "for the sake of the marriage because divorce is a sin" or "sake of the children" are delusional. The relationship is some kind of crutch. Get out, get safe and get mental help or you'll end up back in a similar situation.)

Christian Music II

2005-12-05T15:06:00.000-08:00

Wow, three comments!

This topic tears at the fibers of many churches these days--the older generation (usually) digging in their heels wanting to stick with old standards like Count Your Blessings delivered with a song leader and hymn books and the requisit organ or piano accompanyment with the younger generation (usually) wanting new standards like Worthy is the Lamb backed up by full band and lead by three vocalists while lyrics are projected for all to see.

So, which is right?

Personally, I like both. The old hymns bring continuity, peace and steadiness anchoring us in changing times. The music reveals a timelessness of the church and God. Many strike reverent notes.

But let's not be Amish-folk here, stuck in the "ways" of the 1700s permanently singing musical versions of horses and buggies and turning up our noses at those silly inventions motorcars.

My point about certain Christian Rock tunes was that the music itself delivered an ungodly message even if the intent was to glorify God. It would like me wearing a diamond encrusted thong to God's glory while skipping naked at church--sure it's the best money can buy, sure my intent is to glorify God with beauty, but it is a THONG, for Pete's sake. (We won't even talk about how my naked body would defile the sanctuary. Let's just stop there.)

Other upbeat Christian tunes and even some reflective ones surely praise and worship God--drums, cymbals and all. What makes me uncomfortable is the wholesale swallowing of this new genre of music and checking our brains at the door. Of course, that has been done about other Christian music as well. Singing seven laments rarely has a place in the worship service--but it is done all the time usually by old white guys picking songs written by dead white guys from ages past.

Some questions to ask about any music played for God:

Is it Biblical? The truth shall set you free...
Is the music spiritual or sensual (that is God-based or Man-based)?
Does the music inspire or aggitate? Seek peace, pursue it earnestly.
Is the music understandable or confusing? God is not the author of confusion

All music in God's service should praise and glorify and lift up and inspire and unite and instill love, joy and peace. We have six days to bang pots and pans if that is what pleases our ear. One day, only one, is set aside for Sabbath Rest and worshipping our Creator.

Music is such a big part of the day and should be chosen lovingly.

Stress Causes Sickness

2005-12-04T22:36:00.000-08:00

Proof.

Mozilla

2005-12-04T16:52:00.000-08:00

Once again, I'm going to plug Mozilla, the web browser (like Internet Explorer or Netscape) that is awesome. The current edition has soooo many cool features, features added because the code is open-source and people write programs that they want. The best is the weather add-on. As I sit here, I can see via tiny icons to the bottom right of my screen, the weather now, a satellite image of my part of the country and the weather for the next two days. (Mom and Matt Helmers, are you reading this?) I also added a feature where I can tag stuff I like with a simple click and it keeps item prices all in one place--a monster wishlist. (This may sound stupid, but stupid is shopping again and again for the same thing and going back to the same sites.)

Anyway, download it, use it and leave IE in the past forever.

Christian Rock

2005-12-03T19:07:00.000-08:00

Seinfeld fans will remember the episode where Elaine dumps her car salesman boyfriend when she drives his car one day and finds all stations tuned to some form of Christian rock music. (Having lived in New York, not the city but the state, for a while I find it difficult to imagine that NYC has that many Christian stations, but who knows?) Well, my own car experience happens every time I get the privelage of borrowing Mr. Dr.'s car, invariably tuned to Houston's own KSBJ.

It freaks me out every time. What is wrong with my husband? More ask, "What is wrong with YOU Melissa, that such decadent, hedonistic, vulgar music appeals to you and uplifting Christ-centered music does not?" Here is my answer, base as it may be.

Sex, drugs and rock and roll, ah..... so rotten, so youth and so American. You are simply not a teenager unless in the thros of angst laden lyrics and gonad squeezed falsetto.

It has been thus for the last fifty years of American history. There is nothing new under the sun, so I suppose teens everywhere have rebelled and seduced whether to Bach or the Beatles.

Enter the new millenium in the US of A. Just say no to drugs, be abstinant (not obstinant) and listen to opera or classical music. Wait, hold up on that last one.

Today, be a rebel by listening to Mercy Me (I kid you not) and Third Day, two well-known Christian bands.

One popular lyric to a Christian song is, "I am so in love with you." It is sung over and over like a whiney, pleading mantra to a very detached Jesus. That is the intent, no doubt. But when I hear it and I'm in church hearing it, all that my mind pictures is a sweaty teenage boy lusting through the window trying to engage a vapid, conceited girl. It feels far from spiritual, closer to sensual and maybe just sickly sweet or just plain sick. Like poison.

Music, because it involves the hearing which is our most primal and emotional sense and the first sense to develop and the last to go before death, sways us in many ways.

Rhythm driven by the cadence, timing and beat of the music provides the foundation. Sing sweet lyrics, put dolci notes in proper places but layer these on a march foundation and the message of the music is war not love, not lullabye.

All music possesses a melody--the theme that rides the rhythm. It carries the piece. Like rhythm, a message is delivered with the melody. A major key or minor key determines mood. Is this a happy victorious march or a sad march consumed with loss?

How is this music conveyed? Do we hear one lone wind instrument crying in the night? Does the trumpet drive the point home? Will the full force of a 80 instruments back the message? A single voice can carry power or loss and hold both at the same time. It is a gift few hold and not always the best vocalists or musicians either--Elvis, Sinatra, Yo Yo Ma, Itzak Perlman, Diana Krall, Whitney Houston, Kelly Clarkson, Andrea Bocelli, ... The ability to infuse the music with emotion--to give the notes meaning, depth.

Back to Christian Rock now. My position is that the rhythm, the melodies and the medium deliver a much different message than the lyrics--although sometimes the whole package including the lyrics deliver a crazily congruent message, one that to my ears is far from spiritual.

Am I some prudish Church lady? Well, maybe that should be a goal I strive for more, but no. In fact, my music tastes run from rock-n-roll to opera to jazz. Speed metal might be the only type of music that holds no interest for me whatsoever.

There's a good example though. Speed metal, the domain of nihilist eastern Europeans and self-absorbed Americans who pretend to share rage against "the man", is an angry medium. The message (since it can't be discerned in lyric or melody) is rage. Screaming, incoherent, banging anger--the equivalent of a napless, toddler gone wild with a microphone. And yet, there is "Christian" speed metal. Bull. The message is chaos and unchecked emotions. Screaming "Satan you suck!" versus "Satan is my main man!" matters little. The message people hear, in the music if you can call it that, is the same.

Am I a reactionary? Is the only music fit for God Handel or some humble old hymn? No, I don't believe this at all. In fact, modern rock, in some part can trace back to negro spirtuals, hymns from Penecostal and Baptist churches, sung with a feeling not transmitted by people who had not been enslaved in the same way. The messenger charged the message.

Gospel and rhythm and blues and jazz and then crooners who came out of church and sang music that caused something other than the spirit to soar. Jerry Lee Lewis, Elvis, The Supremes, Aretha Franklin all transferred their talents to jazz, blues and rock-n-roll.

So why should I object to Christian boy bands? Why should I object to a John Mayer wanna be?

Because this music is imitating imitators--bad ones. Grating, superficial music with tinny melodies and bombastic base and little lyricism and simplistic rhymes provide the foundation for praising God? Some say, "We're reclaiming this music for Jesus!"

Oh no, please no. Tell me we are not going to be singing some gooey supplicant song to the tune of "I want to get in your pants" and change the words to "I am so in love with you Jesus." I don't want to hear a human man entreat me (even a very cute Justin Timberlake look alike) that way, the thought of Jesus being entreated that way makes me want to hurl. A lot. Chunks.

As this is written, no minds will change. I know this. The teenage girls in my church will swoon over the dopey boy band singing for Jesus, wowed that they evangelize at the end of each concert. "They are so committed and so cute!"

Yuck.

That sexy beat, simplistic melody line, pained expressions, the piercing falsetto of a boy in need belongs one place--rock and roll. These same ingredients with "Christ-centered" lyrics is dischordant itself. Like clangy brass or tinkling cymbal, or as a modern analogy like nails on a chalkboard, the music's message clashes with the intent.

Christian rock is an oxymoron. Rock in itself tells a message and God has nothin' to do with it.

Feminists For Life

2005-11-30T18:11:00.000-08:00

The early feminists Cady B. Stanton, for one, were pro-life. Why? Learn more here.

I don't believe that abortion is pro-woman at all. It is pro boyfriend, husband, employer, college, etc., but not pro woman. A woman must sacrifice part of herself to claim this "right". She must bear the scars. She must face the emotional and physical repruccusions long after the child is dead. Meanwhile, the man is off the hook financially, emotionally, but most of all physically.

War In Iraq

2005-11-30T18:04:00.000-08:00

Dr. Sanity speaks.

Creative People Have More Sex

2005-11-29T19:18:00.000-08:00

Not surprising really. While the researchers couldn't take testosterone samples of dead artists, they could today. My theory? Testosterone is high which makes them aggressive, sexual and willing to "risk it" creatively. Testosterone is the sexy, creative hormone--for men and women, too. Women, don't get your ovaries yanked--it messes with this hormone. Not only can you no longer create babies but the creative juices don't flow either. That's bad news all the way around.

A side note, ovarian cysts and other ovary problems indicate creativity problems in Chinese Medicine. Funny how that works, huh?

Happy Birthday to Me: Part Deux

2005-11-29T09:00:00.000-08:00

My mother took my last post literally. The List was more a if money-was-no-object (and it always is) kind of list.

Actually, it was rather small-minded, don't you think? It got me to considering what, if all things were possible (wait a minute, they are!), I would really want.

That post will come soon. That will require some thought.

P.S. For those who, like my mother, are new to all things internet, anyone can go to Amazon and put a wish list together. That way, friends and family don't fumble around when trying to please you on those special days. If you find my wish list, you'll notice that it is empty. All kinds of good people use these things though--I don't think it makes you a bad person to know what you want and then share it, does it? Or are you only a good person if you receive gifts you despise that cost the giver lots of consternation, money and time to buy for you? Just asking.....

Happy Birthday to Me

2005-11-28T19:19:00.000-08:00

I turn a shade of very-young 30 coming up here soon. Here is my wish list in no particular order.

Pedometer: Gadgety and good, too.
Lord of the Rings: This leather-bound version is sure to please, me, and is surprisingly affordable. I have the green pleather (pretend leather) version, but this one is the 50th anniversary with more features than non-geeks can comprehend. Show me the love.
I-Pod: Ok, my covetous, yet cheap, heart has long lusted for an I-Pod. Now they have a video version--just think! downloadable shows. The Nano, though, wins for sleek, sultry and transportable (lose-able too, I'm afraid, but I'll risk it). Pricey but nicey. Don't forget, I-Pod accessories are a must among the young, rich and hip: Like a dock, or an arm-band in pink is a must!, don't forget the charger, and must have the pink protective cover. Oh yeah! And the Shuffle, so I don't have to listen to all the same songs in a row. And of course the Juicey Couture Shuffle(you fashion hounds know this name, don't deny it) lanyard. Ok, I didn't really want that, it is ridiculous, but funny. Ultimately, I want a speaker hook-up so I can listen in the office (hate Yahoo! Launch commercials and stupid songs I don't want to hear) and play them in the Living Room when entertaining.
Cashmere blanket: (In vanilla, please.) It is on sale for only $429.00! A bargain! Cashmere breathes and is soft too. It's more a need than a want.
Stemless wine glasses: For that twice yearly venture into Red Wine, it would be delightful to not have to worry about breaking stems.
Vacuum Cleaner: Form meet function. There was a time in my early married life that a vacuum might offend my romantic sensibilities. That time has passed. Is it excessive to pay over $400 for a vacuum cleaner? That's for you to decide. But, over the decade+, we're on junk vacuum #3 so it adds up. Might as well get a good one that will last.
Digital Camera with Zoom: Yes, I love my wee Sony digital at 7.2 MP. The only problemo? Feeble flash and zero zoom (more than zero, but not much). This Canon will be my last camera for the year I promise.
Coldplay X&Y: Though European socialists, bordering on Communists (as long as it's everyone elses money, of course), I love their music! Addictive. As the scrawny runt Oliver Twist said, "Moh please."
Serenity: Since serenity seems to be an elusive commodity at least I could have the movie. Missed it at the theatre. Must have babysitter!
Almost any Interior Design book: Albert Hadley, Dan Carithers, Mark Hampton and this by him, you name it, reading the masters is fun stuff.

Ultimately, this year, more than any other, I'm just happy to be alive. Having a new kid has made me want to live more than ever and fear not living more than ever, too. Children need their mothers. Obvious yes, but not something that occupied much mental space until recently. Anyway, just glad to be alive and here for them. Some days (not today, heh!) are so magical and sweet that I want to revel in each sparkly moment.

I love my life. How blessed to be living.

Canada's Government Falls

2005-11-28T19:04:00.000-08:00

You didn't know this did you? Because, who care's right?

Where Do You Shop?

2005-11-28T18:58:00.000-08:00

Unless plagued by boils, and Wal-Mart alone carries the cure, I shop at Tar-jay. Sorry Sam. But that's not true for everyone.

Fat Buttocks

2005-11-28T18:54:00.000-08:00

This was inevitable.

Look at These Stats

2005-11-28T18:45:00.000-08:00

Is this what we are coming to?

MRSA

2005-11-28T18:44:00.000-08:00

Methycillan Resistant Staphloccocus Aureus tracking: accurate numbers tracking will never happen in the U.S. Maybe it will here.

Black Friday Is Good Friday

2005-11-25T19:35:00.000-08:00

Having never shopped on Black Friday before, scary stories spun in my head. Lust-crazed people barreling through doors grabbing everything in sight. Brawls over bedding blocking isle three. Sleep-deprived, wild-eyed shoppers marauding Wal-Mart pillaging the personal computer section.

It sounded dangerous in a fun yet deadly James Dean kind of way. A herd mentality that makes you want to try it even if it's as bad for you as a tar-filled Camel hanging from the corner of your mouth.

Today, "succumbing to the peer pressure of commercialism", as Mr. Dr. said, was the day to see for myself what all the hype was about.

What drove me to such madness? It's the Japanese fault, I tell you! For some time, my heart has greatly desired a flat-screen TV. Functional, practical and best of all, beautiful, who wouldn't want one? The old TVs are big, fat, ugly and hog room space. And, you have to watch all those fuzzy, nasty little dots. Yuck.

In addition, the Scottish in me likes a deal. When other people buckle, this chick remains stalwart. Paying retail almost makes me physically ill. Almost. Some things are worth retail, I just can't think of any right now.

So, imagine my excitement at seeing a $188 flat screen and a $29 sleek DVD player at Target. Imagine my delight at seeing 1200 thread count sheets for $50 at Sam's Club (a store that I loathe more than just about any other--they force you to pay cash or use Discover--grrrr!). Imagine my shock that a finely-crafted Kate Spade handbag could be had at Sam's. Who knew?

I could have rolled my old, nursing bones out of bed at 4:30 to ensure that all electronics, textiles and accessories made it into the Dr. M household. I could have, but didn't. But my interepid sister did.

My shopping excursion started at 8 a.m. Sam's was reasonably unbusy at 8:00. Still, they were out of the super-fine sheets and I bought the next rung down. Oh well. Still a good deal and they fed me breakfast.

Target was a madhouse, but the fickle fingers of fate were on my side. The shelves were chock-a-block full of merchandise. The isles were stuffed with so many carts they were impassable. The poor electronics dude behind the counter looked like a shell-shocked marine on his first day of combat on his first tour of duty. It was only 9 a.m. Poor chap. Hope he survived.

So, being a woman (a man would NEVER do this), I asked a guy in a red vest, "Sir, I'm not sure if you're sold out or not, or if everything is running together for me, but do you have any more of those 15" flat screen T.V.'s for sale?"

Being a man, he was delighted to help. "Let me check for you," he said authoritatively and promptly radioed Chuck the department manager.

"He's coming right now," my helper said. "In fact, here he is." (They talked to each other on the walkie talkie until about ten feet from one another.) Even in Target, a man is G.I. Joe.

Lo and behold, Chuck held in his very grip, a 15" monitor, "the last one" asigned to no one. He put it in my cart. I didn't even have to reach for it! Kizmet.

But my morning wasn't yet done. I had to check out. That worked well. A lane opened just for me. And then, I had to go to the dreaded Sanctuary of Satan's cheap consumer goods: Wal-Mart.

Alas, they had sold most of what interested me. But being Wal-Mart, they had something not needed, but enjoyed when found: tons of cheap videos. DVDs for $3.44. I bought $60 worth. We now have a decent library of DVDs. Renting is wasteful at prices like these.

All in all, Black Friday was good to Dr. M. No bruises. No emotional trauma. Black Friday was a Good Friday for me!

Thanksgiving

2005-11-25T19:33:00.000-08:00

The Dr. M family enjoyed a quiet, peaceful meal together Thursday. Our "do-nothingness" stretched into today. I do believe that this four-day weekend is the least activity we've had all year. Something is wrong with us! It was wonderful. The whole experience makes me determined to repeat it soon.

Student Loans Strangle Business Growth II

2005-11-22T08:17:00.000-08:00

Oh, I forgot to tell you how this affects business.

The loans weigh heavily on all college grads--especially if they are doctors like me--who are new business owners upon graduation. The attrition rate for chiropractors is somewhere near 50% within 5 years. Although that might be urban legend. Not sure. No chiropractic schools want these stats out, that's for sure.

A medical doctor friend had $250,000 in student loans. A dentist can have north of $100,000 if he or she goes on to specialize and then a one chair set-up (you know the spit bowl, plumbing, moving chair) costs over $250,000.

It is tough to feel sorry for these people, right? But the ones you're seeing are either gutting it up and just getting by (way more than anyone would like to admit), or doing relatively well. You're not seeing the failures who are stuck with the student loans and business debt.

Now, lets add insurance. We have malpractice (a huge expense depending upon the specialty), liability (someone slips and falls), disability, health (we are a small business and pay through the nose with over a $5,000 deductible) and our personal life must be insured to the hilt because doctors are big targets.

1/10o doctors are audited by the IRS each year. 1/2000 U.S. citizens in other professions are audited. So you better pay a good CPA and have a financial advisor advising your every move.

Doctors must comply with inane insurance regulations that change every day and cost money. One insurance company paid for patient care rendered over a year and a half ago. Insurance companies are in the business of finding a reason NOT to pay. Try managing your cash flow with that kind of repayment schedule.

Some insurance companies pay such lousy reimbursement that we get paid less than half what we charge a cash patient for the same treatment. An orthopedic surgeon I know gets $200 for a Medicare knee replacement surgery!

It's insane.

Chiropractic enrollment and enrollment in medical schools are declining. Doctors are picking specialties that don't interfere with their families as much--radiology, pediatrics, anesthesiology, for example. That's a good thing--for families.

And the Boomers are getting older just as the medical field receives heavy disincentives just to stay in practice.

Every old-timey doc says "Boy, I'm sure glad I'm getting out now. I wouldn't want to be starting today."

And it all begins in graduate school with student loans. Do we really want this kind of profession to be the home to trust fund kids and special interest quotas?

Shouldn't the medical profession be filled with smart, dedicated people who enter the profession with desire to serve and the intelligence to serve well? Student loans should be helping these people get into a profession that needs talent and hard work. Instead, student loans bury the doctor before he or she can get a start.

Student Loans Strangle Business Growth

2005-11-22T08:02:00.000-08:00

A punitive bill is making it's way through congress that will stick those with student loans with a fixed rate that is far above current market interest rates. Call your congressman or woman on my behalf and JUST SAY NO!

Dick Morris says: (read the whole thing here)

With a 25 percent share of the student loan market — more than six times that of its rivals — SLM has cashed in on federal guarantees against defaults on the one hand and blocked student refinancing on the other. As a result, according to columnist Terry Savage, writing for thestreet.com, SLM has made a profit of 1 percent over its loan volume of $100 billion — $1 billion in profit!

Student loans are near and dear to my heart. My husband and I, both chiropractors, paid our way through college. We left undergrad with no debt. We left graduate school with mounds of debt. It is simply unfeasable to get through academics that difficult while carrying a full or sometimes even a part time job.

Like many people we consolidated and "locked in". That is, we got stuck with an interest rate that cannot be refinanced. So, while interest rates have hit rock bottom, the monopoly called Sallie Mae still gets big fat interest on top of inflated loans (the schools benefit from government upping of loans--they correspondingly increase room, board and tuition). Tuition has more than doubled inflation increasing an average of 10% a year. There is no market correction because financing is so tightly governmentally regulated.

This is NOT a good thing.

Crappy schools make the same money as good schools through student loans. So, good schools, setting themselves apart raise their fees. Only the "poor" (that would have been me) students pay the government loan amounts.

You see how this is crazy?

Sallie Mae wants to keep her nice big cash cow--Dick Morris says that their yearly take is over ONE BILLION DOLLARS--by pushing through a law that would not allow students to refinance.

Of course, this is wrong. The whole student loan system needs to be deregulated so competition can enter. Guess what? Tuition would decline. Loan interest rates would decline. Defaults (to the tune of 25%, which are guaranteed by the Federal government--that's you and me, don't forget) would decline.

Stop this madness! Call your Congress Person--TODAY!

Upper News

2005-11-21T09:11:00.000-08:00

Ok, I'll buck up VJ. Really, Dr. M is not moping through life right now. She is very busy and feeling generally irritated by the state of affairs. But that is looking at the glass half empty.

Actually, some things are perking up. Have you noticed that gas prices are on the descent? Do you know why? Econ 101 at work my furry little friends: supply and demand. Glen Reynolds posts some encouraging information about reduced use--that one barrel of oil today does the job that two did in the 50s. That's good news! People are finally buying hybrids, including Glen, because they finally have some power and style.

Al Quaeda is trying to return to Afganistan, but it's not working.

Mongolia is democratic and GW is encouraging and supporting them.

My children made pumpkin bread and will be taking it to the old folks home across the street and singing to the nice people there. Community service--now that's a good idea.

A border fence between the US and Mexico might become a reality. Then again, it might not. It has worked in Israel. Heck, it works with my neighbors. (No illegal feline immigration into the Dr. M motherland, thank you very much.)

Abortions have dropped recently (decline in child-bearing age women is my guess as the baby boomers seek ways to have kids now that their child-bearing years are almost up and they inadvertantly are sterile due to age, STDs, previous abortions, and too effective birth control, but I digress) but are still twice the number (still alarminly high) of the early '70s.

Thanksgiving is coming. I am profoundly grateful to live in a country that officially and annually thanks God.

So, there! While sounding like a crotchety old bag, "Bah, the good old days were gooder!" Now I can sing like an optimist, which truly represents my views more so on most days.

Have a great day!

Slow Posting

2005-11-20T19:25:00.000-08:00

My mom asked me why I hadn't posted so much. Short answer: I've been really busy. Long answer: I'm sick of the news.

I'm sick of government news. Politicians make stupid decisions that seem unbeatably self-serving and wasteful and then, they vote on another piece of legislation that is even more self-serving and wasteful. They generally seem to have no conscious. They seem to have forgotten that their opinions and decisions do affect people. Is Washington D.C. so insulated from the Average Joe that the only opinions that matter is one anothers and press and pundits and lobbyists they fete with? Blech.

I'm sick of health news. (How's that for ironic?) Everyone knows they should eat healthy, exercise, etc. They rarely do. All the health research says to eat healthy, exercise, etc. Our world is so polluted now though, that doing everything right still doesn't guarantee a free pass from cancer or some other horrible disease. I'm not saying you shouldn't do what you can...I'm just saying, you know what I'm saying.

I'm sick of crime. I'm sick of people abusing their children or someone elses child. I'm sick of rapists. I'm sick of "people smugglers trafficking humans". And I'm really sick of prosecutors going after some person for this or that minor infraction when real criminals are getting away, literally, with murder. Oh, and I am convinced there is a special place in hell for defense lawyers who traumatize the victims in the name of a "spirited defense."

I'm sick of stupid priorities in schools. When I was in school, I got a half hour recess in the morning, the afternoon and an hour at lunch time and we still managed to learn to read, write and do some math. My kids get no recess except for a half hour at lunch. And they come home with an hour of homework every night in second grade. WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY DOING IN SCHOOL? So these poor little boys with ants in their pants get put on Ritalin when all they need is some recess to burn off steam? And we complain that kids are fat? Research shows that adults can sit for no longer than 50 minutes before attention fades. My kids at ages six and eight are well-versed in the drug culture, though...a whole week was spent learning to say no to drugs, alcohol and everything else. Is everyone insane?

I'm sick of the media. George Clooney thinks that the worst period in American history was McCarthyism. Cameran Diaz waxes elephant about politics. Every movie portrays the common person as some ignorant hick while Sex and The City glorifies vapid, sleazy women as glamorous. According to Desperate Housewives, the suburbs are filled with conniving, self-centered lust-crazed adultresses (not the love-crazed moms like I know who wait in car-line, shuttle kids to lessons, make dinner night after night, read before bed, and the list goes on and on). And Maureen Dowd laments the dirth of men in her high-faluting world of intellectual stimulation and gender manipulation as the common woman (that stupid little lady who sold her soul, got married, had children and put her career on permanent hold) bumbles back to the 50s. Red state, blue state. Rednecks versus smarter-than-you urbanity. Yuck to it all.

I'm sick of business fads. There is NOTHING new under the sun. Nada. Zip. Zero. Zilch. That doesn't mean that there aren't new products or new services. There are. But the way businesses get those products and services to the market are tiresomely blandly the same as they always have been. And, the problems that undo potential growth are also still the same--lack of cash flow, faulty manufacturing, apathetic customer service, pricing problems, image problems, high overhead, undisciplined spending. Blah, blah, blah.

I'm sick of commercialism. The best holiday America celebrates will be here next week: Thanksgiving. Yet, this year more than any other I remember, it is being blown by in a tidal wave of advertising for Christmas. It's going to be a huge season, I'm predicting. But give me a break! Are we such a thing-obsessed society that we can't stop for one day of the year and allow ourselves to ponder for a moment that it isn't our greatness or goodness that resulted in our abundance but God's bountiful blessings? We can't pause, pray and humbly give thanks with a sincere heart filled with gratitude? It is embaressing.

I'm sick of thought police. If you're a Liberal, Conservative, Black, White, Hispanic, Asian, Female, Male, Straight, Gay, Fat, Skinny, Rich, Poor, or whatever other category you fall in, you're supposed to think a certain way. Some black dude in Maryland is getting pelted with Oreos during speeches because he has the nerve to be Republican. And there are blacks (and whites) who defend this! Are you kidding me? You mean to tell me that the good Reverend Martin Luther King would approve of this? This is 2005 not 1950. It is called DIVERSITY. Or is there only a right kind of diversity--the kind where as long as your opinions match mine they are okay? An educated woman is not "liberated" unless she works 80 hours a week in a corporate position. A list a mile long could be written.

I'm sick of warped values. Everywhere in America, people are trying to convince themselves that the affair they are having isn't hurting anyone, that watching hours of TV doesn't change your thinking, that leaving their child in day care until 8 p.m. is okay, that the children will be okay as long as mommy and daddy are happy, that a new car, bigger house of more things matters more than siblings, time, and connectedness. These are called deals with the devil, because deep down these deals all come due. And it won't be pretty when it does.

I'm sick of Baby Boomers. GW Bush saddled the future generations with even more debt with the new Medicare Drug Benefit in the name of appeasing the most selfish, bloated generation ever. Anti-aging (Boomers are never going to die and when they do, they will look 20 because of all the plastic surgery), divorce, McMansions, spas, adventure travel, artificial insemination, surrogates, me, me, me, me, me. The average number of children from Boomers--1.7--means huge responsibilities for those few kids in the future. With divorce, there will be more step-children, too. But will the kid want to take care of step-mommy or step-daddy dearest when old and addled? Um, let's be realistic here.

I'm sick of stupidness. Rebuild a drowning city. Appease criminals. Hope that terrorists will go away if we pretend they're not there. Keep border wide open. Keep passing bigger national budgets. Increase student loan amounts so colleges will keep inflating tuition. Search law-abiding people at airports so we "feel safe". The list goes on....and on....and on....

So that is why there have been fewer posts recently. You know the old saying, "if you don't have anything nice to say....."

Attraction and Hormones

2005-11-15T19:47:00.000-08:00

Interesting. Chinese Face Reading might not be so far off.

Simple Reason Common Cold So Common

2005-11-14T17:43:00.000-08:00

Well, well, well, mom was right again. When we get chilled we become susceptible to a cold--so says current research. Now, this might be common sense to all moms, but once again, Doctors have known better and given stupid advice as a result.

Ever heard the saying, "He doesn't have the sense to come out of the rain"?

Other doctorly advice it might be wise to ignore:

Sugar doesn't cause hyperactivity.
You're only contagious when you have a fever.
Children can't have food sensitivities until they are two.
Childhood colic is incurable and must be outgrown.
Breastfeeding is unnecessary or doesn't make that much of a difference.
Salt is bad.
Butter is bad.
Meat is bad.
Bread is good.
Milk is good.
6-12 colds a year is normal.
Pooping once a week is normal.
Pooping once a day is normal.

And this is just kid advice. A book could be written about all the unfactual, unsupported, medical dogma that passes as "science" but is far from it.

Perfection

2005-11-11T22:09:00.000-08:00

How can you say there is no God when looking at perfect toes on perfect feet?

Republican Weenies

2005-11-11T22:04:00.000-08:00

For those of you who hold the conflicting positions that we need to rely less on foreign oil but must never hunt nor drill for oil on our own turf, congratulations! The Republican weenies buckled and removed a provision to drill in ANWR while simultaneous giving Oil Executives hypocritical verbal spankings.

They suck! Read more at Michelle Malkin's blog.

Abortion Debate

2005-11-10T20:54:00.000-08:00

Read more here. She presents all the sides.

I would be described as one of those extremists--I believe abortion is wrong even in cases of rape and incest. Why? The argument that a woman must live with the "raising of the chid forever" is stupid. Ever heard of adoption? In Texas you can drop a baby off at a hospital, fire or police department for 60 days with no reprecussions, no questions asked.

Almost all of the embarassment related to pregnancy out-of-wedlock is gone. But, women don't want to be seen as so shallow as to give the child up for her own needs. Abortion is preferable--the need to not be embarassed trumps ending another life.

"I just died of embarassment." Takes on new meaning.

France is Burning: Part II

2005-11-10T06:20:00.000-08:00

It is disturbing that the best news and commentary about the craziness in France right now is coming out of ...... Brussels. Every one in the French and liberal wings in Western governments everywhere, including ours, want to ignore this. It undermines wrong-headed social policy. It undermines wrong-headed immigration policy. It undermines wrong-headed humanistic views--Maslow misinterpretted.

Looking at religion and culture and the problems: read more here.

Soduku Madness

2005-11-09T21:04:00.000-08:00

Mr. Dr. and I have never been trend setters, really. But we are part of a craze started in Japan and sweeping the world as I write this.

We get this magazine from both the U.S. and the U.K. called The Week. Recommended by my time-crunched sister, it is really the idiots guide to what happened in the world the last week if you're too busy working to read.

I ended up with the UK version because I ordered online and it said "The Week". Well holy Toledo, the price was much higher than I expected but oh well. Then, I found the US version which was considerably more affordable (shipping and all that).

Long story long, I'm happy that we get the UK version because on the inside back cover they have a crossword puzzle (bah!) and this math thingy called a Soduku.

Well the DH and I are totally hooked. He has beaten me every time...except once.

Oh, my rare win was soooo delicious. You see, they are rated in difficulty and this was rated the highest difficulty. For whatever reason, I blasted through it--got the method to the madness.

Not only did I finish first, I was done 15 to 20 minutes earlier than you-know-who. His pride was deeply offended. He is unbearable win or lose, but losing wins the bad attitude award.

My sore winning did not help his sore losing. To say that my one tiny triumph managed to find it's way into every conversation goes without saying.

Now, he's like the Soduku demon. We get one in the mail and he hunkers down drawing a grid. We have at least one competition a week. Believe it or not, I find this fun.

Try them, you'll like them. They can cause brain pain, but the only way to lose is to quit. Don't be a loser! Winners never quit!

Oil Company Profits

2005-11-09T11:00:00.000-08:00

Three words for you: supply and demand. Ya gotta love hypocritical congressmen getting after Oil Companies for actually, finally, making money.

75% of the cost of a gallon of gas goes to the government. Like grocery stores, oil companies have very tight profit margins.

So, a confluence of things have happened to up oil prices: multiple natural disasters that have affected refineries (none have been built since the 70s--California rejected a proposal to build one a year ago), world consumption (read China and India) has increased wildly and a few countries control how much oil gets on the market (read OPEC).

High demand + low supply = High Prices

Congress needs to shut up, but they won't. This charade is to demonstrate to panicky consumers who live check to check that they are "doing something about the problem" when they are doing nothing of the sort. They are covering their collective hineys so when it gets cold and the blue states get bluer and colder and scream about home heating oil prices the politicos can say "we did everything we could" and...."it's Bush's fault!!!!!!"

By the way, wasn't the war in Iraq all about blood for oil? And, shouldn't our oil prices be lower because of this? Just asking.

Colic in Babies

2005-11-09T10:57:00.000-08:00

Changing a mom's diet to lower allergy producing foods changes breast milk and reduces colic.

The only problem with this research? Most colicky babies drink FORMULA not breast milk.

Heart Trouble? Take B Vitamins

2005-11-09T09:42:00.000-08:00

Medicine is finally coming around. Take Bs when you have heart trouble. And don't stop!

B vitamins are water soluble (not fat soluble which the body produce) and flush out when you are stressed. We are all stressed all the time even you, you know who you are, who always protest, "but I'm fine!"

So take your B vitamins!

Hypertension and Caffiene

2005-11-09T09:34:00.000-08:00

Being a Coke-a-holic and always trying to break the habit, I've found that my blood pressure goes down off the stuff.

I have posited that I'm chasing sugar when I'm off it, but other sugared drinks don't feed the need.

I have posited that I'm chasing caffiene when I'm off it, but other sodas with even more caffiene don't feed the need. Tea which has far more caffiene does not feed the need.

Could Coke still be putting cocaine in their products? That would up the blood pressure and the kick wouldn't be able to come from anywhere else. Kidding. Only kidding.

It's like the Mike Meyers skit, "It's the secret ingredients in the chicken that make you want it and want it and want it. That Colonel with his wee beady eyes!"

That's how I feel with Coke. (Not Pepsi. Not Dr. Pepper. Nothing else feeds the need.)

Science and Religion

2005-11-09T09:27:00.000-08:00

The Dalai Lama and scientists got together again out West. Interesting findings always come out of these exchanges.

Psychiatrists firmly said that meditation cannot change brain chemistry of depressed people into non-depressed people.

Dalai wants to know if empathy for family and enemies activates same part of the brain. Interesting question.

My only beef with all this, doctors who would never parry with a Christian philosopher will pontificate with a Buddhist monk. Eastern religions has more cache.

Finally, the Dalai is heading to the East coast for another symposia and Chinese doctors (communists who may be "encouraged" to take this action by their government--the same government who has wiped out Tibeten culture) are boycotting the Dalai's speech. I wonder how many of these Chinese doctors are American citizens? Be interesting to investigate, wouldn't it?

Drug-Resistant Antibiotics

2005-11-09T09:22:00.000-08:00

This approach may work to getting rid of them. It actually makes sense. Probably why it won't be done.

A doctor or nursing carrying MRSA is what killed my son. The laughable part was that the doctors accused Mr. Dr. and me of infecting the kid--we probably didn't wash our hands like we were supposed to. Ha!

MRSA didn't follow me from my house. You get it at hospitals.

My other son is colonized with MRSA and was put in isolation at the hospital. A total blessing as it turned out.

Antibiotic overuse is a scourge. Avoid them if at all possible. Suffer with the virus. Suffer with the infection. Let your body fight it and develop immunity.

3000: Finding a Purpose

2005-11-08T10:26:00.000-08:00

With my mom's computer not working, my readership has probably dropped by half. Oh well. 3000 visitors have come by my blog. Hope they like it.

Originally, my blog was going to center on all things business. I'd spent time reading Tom Peter's blog. Other blogs cover Tech, Law, Management, etc.

Business it turns out, is better covered by Scott Adams. He reveals more insight through his humor in his Dilbert cartoon than 1000 blogs covering stupidity in Business.

What do people struggle over? Compensation? Bad supervisors? Cut throat co-workers? Yes. Yes. And yes. The choices remain simple: look for another job, confront someone about the situation or suck it up.

Organizations struggle over motivation, retention, innovation, efficiency, excellence, focus, competitiveness, etc. These challenges are on-going. Little methods here and there, depending upon the current fad, help get them there.

I'm a doctor. I didn't invent the human body, just like Peter Drucker didn't invent business. While we can all use an outside perspective somehow, we should do our best to "know thyself".

I'm a helper. My role with individuals and corporations is to give them the tools they need to succeed, inspire them to use them and help them "harmonize"--get congruent with the mission. Often that means reminding them of what they already know and encouraging them to do what they know in their hearts to do.

While this role can be important, long after I'm gone, the client must do the hard work for him or herself.

This blog then, doesn't often focus on the obvious. I could talk about Six Sigma, Human Resource innovation (ha! is that a non-sequitor?), silos and boxes. Blah!

My real intent is to bring your attention to what I think is important. Broad issues that could have significant implications both personally and for business.

For example, if the EU gets its way and the UN ends up running the Internet, International Law not U.S. constitutional law will govern you. Have you thought about those ramifications for you or your business? How would you like to be held to the EU's slander laws? Labor laws? Do you even know what they are? Thought not.

Another example, have you considered the impact that a worldwide flu pandemic would have on your business? Does your company make chicken soup? Does your company ship chickens? Do you live on a farm? Do you live in a closed-in metropolis where quarantine is virtually impossible? Are you a doctor? Are you prepared to treat dying people who are extremely contagious? Big businesses, could you still operate with half your staff sick and perhaps 10% of your workforce dead and the other 90% preparing a family-members funeral?

Yet another example: are you familiar with Sam Alito's judicial philosophy? What would a strict constitutionalist say about "eminent domain" or "family leave"? Do you know? This will make a difference to you both personally and professionally.

How about ending the inheritence tax? Billionaire bridge buddies Warren Buffet and Bill Gates thinks that repealing it is immoral. I could not disagree more. For guys worth 40 billion giving away 50% to the government is no biggie, right? Even if Bill does what he wants and gives almost every penny to charity, his children will still be "set up". You see, I trust Bill to know what to do with his money. I don't trust the government. Right now Bill is funding all sorts of research that he and a bunch of smart people think is important. What would the government do? Build bridges in Alaska. Enough said.

What about forced vaccination? How do you feel about the government imposing vaccinations that are both untested and unproven to work? Do you like being a guinnea pig even if there is a pandemic? I don't. But a new bill before congress is debating just this thing. I worry about liberties being taken away so we "all feel better" when no scientific proof documents effectiveness. I'm reminded of this every time I get frisked at the airport.

So, these broad issues have huge personal implications. The machinations of business will continue. Like people, businesses need to create, nourish, maintain and protect themselves. Individuals will decide how to do it. Businesses will decide how to it.

But the environment changes every day like never before. So many monumental changes external to our personal or business life are occurring. These changes will affect how we live our lives even if they seem far away.

Through this blog, I'm trying to share these big problems. You want leadership lessons? Watch Chirac deal with the riots, watch Bush deal with natural disaster and war.

It may seem at times that I'm beating irrelavent, long dead horses. Sometimes I do. But often my desire is to give attention to issues that will change your life and your business life--whether you want your life changed or not.

France is Burning

2005-11-07T18:05:00.000-08:00

Update: Read more from Mark Steyn.

Depending upon your American news source, varied voices opine about the trouble France faces with a very angry "youth". There is no mention of Muslim youth. American writers frame the torching of French cities by African and Arab youths as they would frame rioting in America--disenfranchised minorities who lack access to the success of lighter skinned people finally revolt. It is to be expected. I mean really, how long did the ignorant "MAN" think the peeps could be suppressed?

But this not what is happening in France and now spreading to their Western European neighbors. Yes, the unemployment rate is staggeringly high for these minorities (up to 35% among those 15 to 25 male and Muslim). Yes, the immigrants are marginilized geographically, literally on the outskirts of cities.

To learn more about what IS happening in France read more here. We Americans cannot afford to be ignorant or arrogant. Trouble spreads when ignorance reigns.

Hat tip: The Anchoress via Michelle Malkin

More on Movies

2005-11-07T10:23:00.000-08:00

Saw Kingdom of Heaven starring Orlando Bloom Thursday night. I'll give you a thumbnail: Christians bad. Muslims good. Secular Humanists the very best ever, ever, ever!

The only redemention for the film? Orlando Bloom is H-O-T hot! (Hey, don't scoff! We could have had to endure this film with an ugly lead. It could have been worse.)

Watched Spanglish Saturday night. Another thumbnail: Downsized corporate babes are aimless meanies and terrible mothers. Illegal immigration is good. All white people are rich and vacation for the summer in oppulent beach homes. White people don't know the meaning of life like Hispanic people do.

The only redemption for the film? The main protagonists--Adam Sandler's husband character John Clasky, Tea Leoni's wife character Deb and Paz Vega's domestic help character Flor choose the morally right thing to do. The husband and wife stay married. The" simple yet wise" maid moves on rather than split up a family.

Tea Leoni's portrayal deserves special note. Her Deborah Clasky was a hyperkinetic spaz with almost zero sympathy. Inept in all things domestic or wifely, so narcisstic she leaves her husband hanging during sex, she seemed to be an appendage on an otherwise functioning family. Is that how working mothers are? Some, I suppose. A friend of mine whose husband worked with Carly Fiorina chatted with her during a wedding and guess what Carleton talked about? That's right HP stock. Nooooo, she talked about her kids, of course. Maybe James Brook's mom worked outside the home.

Sunday night, we watched Revenge of the Sith. This film we should have seen in the theater but didn't have time. Yes, we are just that pathetic. It's effects earn a big screen. Alas, we settled for our wildly out-of-date TV.

The special effects seemed to me to be one of the only special things about Lucas' so-called last installment. Lucas, like every other condescending Hollywood insider, cluck clucks through this movie, "What if the very Republic we are trying to defend has become the evil that we're fighting?" Padme asks. Argghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! I want to kill myself! Self-serving gibberish does not belong in entertainment. Is anyone listening? Does anyone care?

The exchanges between our doomed heroine Padme (Natalie Portman) and her dark-hearted love Anakin (Hayden Christenson) feel empty and leaden at the same time. Both deliver lines like stilted rather than jilted lovers. Or is it the ridiculous script?

Violence reigns in Stith. I had been warned to not look by Mr. Dr. moments before Anakin offs a room full of Younglings thankfully not on screen. After seeing the new Vader do that, no amount of, "Luke, I am your father" will erase the over-the-top memory. Why was his murderous rampage necessary to set up his dark heart? Killing a Jedi and the whole separtist movement isn't enough?

The worst scene, the one that makes all the bleeding and exploding appendages seem like nothing (and they gave Peter Jackson crap about black blood gushing from the cut off neck of a very bad Orc? How do the raters decide these things?), shows the fallen Skywalker on fire melting and somehow surviving. The camera lingers on this gruesome moment forever. I couldn't wait for the mask to be put on already. Ugh.

The Villians include a Sith, General Greivous and Palpatine the baddest of them all. The Sith gets offed by Anakin at the goading of Palpatine. Greivous is a weird machine with a real beating heart and what looks like someone's eys and perhaps a brain. I dunno. Heck, I still don't know what Storm Troopers are. Are they people in weird armor or are they some kind of active droid? Anyway, he fights with Obi Wan and we all know who must win!

Palpatine and our favorite good guy, Yoda get into it. That was fun to watch. Yoda was probably the best actor in the whole film. Samuel L. Jackson was fantastic as ever and always deserves more screen time than he gets. He portrays stately, stern, regal and commanding better than just about anyone.

Finally, after all the saber throwing, one must ask: what is the point of these movies? Lucas, being the smarter-than-you director sums up and gives Obi Wan (Ewan Macgregor) the line, "Only the dark side thinks in absolutes." So the key then is balance. Yin yang. Nobody is really that good. Nobody is really that bad. Padme's last words trail off, "I know there is still some good in him."

Even with all this, Revenge of the Sith got me jazzed about going back and watching the original Star Wars trilogy. I'm just sorry to have missed the ending of this epic on the big screen.

So there you go. My reviews of three recent Hollywood films. None stellar. Doesn't that bug you when someone has nothing good to say? Makes me want to watch another movie or two so I can say something nice.

Me Just A Widdle Weenie

2005-11-07T09:30:00.000-08:00

Many close professional friends of mine could not disagree more with my world-view. Too polite to say that I'm nuts, the friends from (suprise!) New York and California simply discontinue interacting with me on more than a superficial level.

My writing is not oblique. After reading a person knows precisely where I stand. How gauche!

My forthrightness has its downsides. It started in my teen years, actually before that, too. Stating my opinions about the sanctimonious, hypocritical pastor at my church growing up got me in big trouble. A friend of mine, a boy, received a letter from me and his parents, evidently so alarmed at my impertinence, gave the letter (and others) to the pastor. The pastor, being sanctimonious and hypocritical, decided to use the letters in a sermon. He read them to the church (leaving out the names, of course--why go through that step when everyone knew who wrote it?) decrying teen rebellion.

Writing got me in trouble. I determined then and there to never put in a letter content I didn't care for the whole world to read.

A blog is one better. Anyone can read it. It's not secret. My name is on it. There is no hiding (unlike the NYTimes Editorial page).

Writing this blog really is an act of courage for me, believe it or not. Freely putting my views out there, especially ones that earn me the status of "silly simpleton" by more sophisticated friends, means enduring possible scorn.

I need to get over it. My goal is to balance two competing character flaws: 1) I care way to much what people think 2) I can believe what I believe and share it in a nice way or (horrors!) not at all.

Finally, a note about changing my opinion. That happens more frequently than some would guess. Even some of my past posts don't represent my current position. I'm leaving them up there as a testement that ignorance can be left behind.

Maureen Dowd's Lament

2005-11-03T20:50:00.000-08:00

In Biblical times, and even now for some women, it was a curse to be childless. Many women, childless because love never found them or they never found love, or worse, because they felt, like Queen Elizabeth, that their duties to humankind would suffer attached to a man on the side and a child on the breast, wake up mid-life and wonder what they might have lost.

She can only wonder of course. Except for nuns and other service to God, all other callings seem superficial next to motherhood. This a mother, a true mother, knows. Childless women wonder.

This does not mean that every woman who choses to avoid motherhood, choses badly. On the contrary, many women chose motherhood thinking that the adoring eyes of their children will make up for a lifetime bereft of lovingkindness. It won't. Any lack a person has reveals itself under the stress of parenthood. Parenthood won't fill a need.

But Maureen Dowd's lament, "What's a Modern Girl to Do?", does not even touch motherhood--which would be her consuming sadness if she possessed one wit of sense. Since she lacks sense, she laments the loss of a mate. She laments young girls playing "the game" to get married. She laments that men don't like intelligent women.

My feeling, after reading her piece, is that Ms. Dowd laments her need for companionship, not just sex "Sex and the City style", and that her choices have left her alone. She laments that selfishness has been its own reward. The Anchoress has more.

Choosing to become a couple might start as a selfish endeavor (I want sex, I want my needs met, I want, I want, I want), but it can't stay that way if it will succeed. My husband and I met in college, dated other people, were friends and found much common ground to build a life together. We loved each other then. The bigger accomplishment is that we love each other today.

Even with that enduring love, speaking for myself here, I find loving my children infinitely easier than loving my husband. They are part of me for one. It might be annoying to hear an uncomfortably familiar turn of phrase with my exact inflection bleating back at me, but who can I blame? Well, there is always the huband to blame, but not if a wife possesses even the least measure of self-awareness. Which on my good days, I sometimes possess.

After a woman works so hard to get a child in the world, love almost seems automatic. (Not for everyone, I know, but it does tend to grow and bloom.) This miraculous being kicked inside of you, shared your chemistry, felt your thoughts, and came out as a person. Childless women get sick of mom's yapping incessently about birth stories. Who cares? Every woman who has gone through that passage and come out the other side. That's who cares.

This process protects a child, because it needs a mother's love to grow healthily. A man, the man you chose to marry? Well...

Men.

Do the cliches need to be listed? Simple. Uncivilized. Yup. And the ones who aren't, the dandy with the foppish good looks seem less than reliable when a manly man is needed. Metrosexuals might sound like a good idea, but a woman prefers to complain about her boarish, manly mate rather than be the strongest one in the room should danger come.

Do the primal make-up and inherent needs and weaknesses frighten Ms. Dowd? They must. She looks beautiful, she's intelligent (though lacks some sense), and she's well-put together. Her distress at the DNA and drives have created a force-field no chaos can penetrate.

One of my male friends shared Ms. Dowd's angst. "Melissa, you lose all freedom when you're married."

I countered, "Sometimes boundaries allow us to be truly free."

Have you heard that research? Children who play on a playground without fences stay closer to the school than those who have fences. Why? Because when we feel protected, we can venture further out. The best marriages are like this.

It would be a lie to say that not always getting my way isn't frustrating. It is. I want everything to be my way all the time. Paradise. Or not. Two heads often prove better than one. And sometimes I give in and sometimes the results are better and sometimes they are worse. To think that as a single person, all my decisions would be good ones, though, is delusion. That's the position that must be taken to cling to singlehood as sacred.

And then we get back to parenting. Choosing single parenthood...why? Why would someone choose to do that to him or herself? How many days have I handed a baby to my husband, if even for a moment, to pull myself back together. Parenthood strains every fiber of a person's being some days.

The woman's movement veered wrongly when equal rights for women became the end of men. Some women still believe this. Ms. Dowd didn't think she believed this, but her actions speak otherwise.

A woman cannot, by strength of will, change the essential nature of man. The hormones that shape and change the brain, that make a man twice as strong in his upper body, that create impulses which he must work very hard to contain, don't make a man anti-woman, but they do make him different.

Is the choice then to abandon men wholesale and become lesbians, because women are "safe" and "good"? Please.

No, women like Ms. Dowd, will have to make peace with mankind. They will have to surrender to their own needs and desires, just like a man must to couple with a woman. Oh, just that word, surrender, sends chills up a person's spine.

But truly, the surrender is to be okay with who we are, not who the opposite sex is. I am a woman, fragile and strong, capable of many things, legitimate on my own, desiring companionship and comfort with a man.

Feminists will never win the battle by being pint-sized versions of men. Our strength is not in butch hair-cuts and flannel. It isn't for men, by the way, either.

Our strength is not in youth and beauty alone, but that's part of it (sorry, but it's true). A woman's strength like a man's strength is to recognize her mission and live to the best of her ability to achieve that mission--to truly be herself as a woman.

Marriage to a good man will help her rather than thwart her. Together, they will care for one another, lift one another up, have children together if they are fortunate and desire it, and be better human beings than they would have been alone.

The way of a man with a woman is a mystery, says Solomon. Always has been, always will be. Recognizing the obvious won't set women back to the stone ages, Mo. I promise.

Hollywood Experiences Shunning

2005-11-02T15:32:00.000-08:00

Sales are down 12% in Hollywood, oh my! I wonder why. Movie going, like TV watching has lost its allure. If the movie stinks, two hours were wasted which really chafes. Then, two more hours are wasted in self-flaggelation. So Hollywood has lost a couple customers in the Dr. M household.

Guess I'm not the only one. Read more here.

Prince Charles Can Move to Syria

2005-11-02T14:41:00.000-08:00

Not that this dull-witted Royal deserves any ink (thankfully, I'm not wasting any), but he can keep his opinions "Islam is good" to himself. How President Bush doesn't punch his royal silliness in the head reveals far more restraint than the Left give the prez credit for. Samizdata agrees (about Charles being stupid). Thanks Instapundit.

And, by the way, so glad you're happily married to the horsey woman you should have married in the first place. Surely you have some self-awareness and realize that people view the whole thing as nasty. Let's see, I'm in love with a woman and too slow on the draw (shocking), marry a beautiful young (naive) woman who bears my children, cheat with my real love while my wife is still breast feeding, and hook up with her after my ex-wife is dead. Lovely. IT'S NOT A ROMANTIC STORY! Hollywood might love it, but the rest of us think you are a gutless nincompoop. BAH!

Halloween: The Worst American Tradition

2005-11-01T06:59:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, October 31, as the clouds rent and the skies poured forth, as can only happen in Texas, little butterflies started to dance within' my fever-addled body. If week two of sickness continued to sit like a pox on my house, then at least other people would suffer with me.

Poor little cherubs everywhere could come begging for candy but they would have to do it drenched and miserable. What fun!

Alas, it stopped raining early enough that the miscreants and those who spawned them could still bumble up my very darkened door (isn't that a sign to trick or treaters to move on?) and bellow "TRICK OR TREAT!" before clamorously racing to ring the doorbell. It's times like these that government restrictions on rocket launchers seem restrictive.

People get more misanthropic as they age some say. Maybe so. It's the explicit threat that peeves me about Halloween. Treat, or else? Or else what?

Sure, it's fun to dress up and pretend to be someone else--preferably a superhero. That can be done at other times in other ways. Teaching our kids to beg and threaten and then rot their teeth out?

And another thing! When did it become acceptable for 20 year olds to trick or treat? Do people have no shame? Get a job, for pete's sake and buy some candy.

Thankfully the whole nasty event is over. A truly American holiday, Thanksgiving, beckons. Eat everything in sight and watch football like a gluttonous slug. Go Lions!

Panic over Pandemics

2005-10-31T11:11:00.000-08:00

Last year, the US ran out of the Flu shots that ended up doing little more than nothing because the flu had mutated.

Now, everyone is beating the drum of Avian flu which is still in animals and is passed to humans. Human to human transfer has yet to occur--that mutation must happen in the future. This could be it everyone--we are all GOING TO DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The relentless news reports stoke fear and pump up pharmaceutical prices and that's about it.

Peggy Noonan Provokes Thought

2005-10-30T18:20:00.000-08:00

It may have seemed from my last post that I dismiss Ms. Noonan's morose outlook on the future of America and all that is good and decent as overwrought angst unworthy of consideration. Not true. In fact, since reading it yesterday, her piece has stuck with me like bad barbeque--my stomach hurts so much I couldn't ignore it if I wanted to.

Evidently I wasn't the only one distressed by her latest offering. Instapundit thinks she should "cheer up". The Anchoress via Gateway Pundit thinks that there is a "Painless Coup" going on and that the sleeping masses are being shepherded into the gateways of hell by the "elites" and that the answer to all of this is prayer and lots of it.

Prayer definitely is a great place to start, but certainly only a start. The good Samaritan was good because he acted when others ignored and passed by. Hand-wringing rationalization have no place in a Christian's life.

My problem with both Noonan and the Anchoresses fine writings is that they are making the simple complicated. And the problem in America is simple--we are not going down the tubes because of bloated buerocratic policies (Medicare Drug Benefits), plagues (Avian Flu, AIDs), natural disasters, Terrorism, and overwhelmed Presidents. All these things exist, yes, but tough times have always existed (Reveolutionary War, Civil War, WWI, WWII, The Great Depression,etc.)

The problem in America can be simplified to this: The God Gap.

Two philosophical groups inhabit our land and a house thus divided cannot long stand. The first group believes that God-believers founded our country, that the Constitution's framers meant what they said just like God meant what He said when He wrote the Good Book, that families are the foundation of society (husband, wife, kids), that self-reliance means making a living to support yourself and you family, that Freedom must be defended and fought for continually and to take that fight whereever Freedom is imperiled, that Freedom is a God-given right, that power is dangerous and to be viewed with guarded skepticism but can be a force for good, that we will have to answer in the next life for what we do in this life.

The second group believes that the Colonist's zealotry wrongly justified their exploitation of the land and the inhabitants thus undermining their whole mission, that the Constitution like the Bible shouldn't be taken literally--and only simpletons do this, that "good people" are the foundation of society--good meaning anyone trying to be good because we all know no one is really very good so who are you to say one way is better, that not all people have the skills, intelligence or good fortune to rely on themselves so those who are more sophisticated, smarter and fortunate are obligated to take care of the "others", that Freedom really means freedom from condemnation which means freedom from absolutes--I am free to decide what is right or wrong, that power can and should be cultivated and used as a force for "good"--government in it's perfect incarnation can be the father, the mother, the benign loving force that our parents never were, that if we screw up this life, we'll have an opportunity to do better next time. And God, the Universe, she is everywhere all the time and loving if only we could tune in and let go of our restrictive past.

With all this, you'd think we'd have another Civil War right now, but we don't. Between these poles we have people who float back and forth. Many more people simply don't pay attention and show up and vote on election day for who their family member or friend or the TV says they should vote for.

On the other hand, people haven't been so motivated and involved in a long time. When Bush put up a milk-toast nomination for the Supreme Court, his voters pushed back. When his underlying message was, "trust me", I paused and so did a lot of other people. Let the Germans trust, let the Maoists trust, let Communists trust, but please don't ask me to trust you just because you are privy to some super-secret information.

When the Supreme Court decided that it was okay for developers to take Mr. Average Joe's house to put up super condos and this was decided by Liberal justices supposedly championing the rights of the "common man", more people sat up. The implications of this law, the implications of a few dudes in black robes changing so many lives with one ELITE sweep--breathtaking.

When the MSM embodied by Dan Rather "reported", a little too gleefully I might add, "new facts" regarding a presidential candidate's past and was found to be knowingly or unknowinly duped by a partisan hack, people took note. Some people participated in the unmasking of the fraud by this little thing called webblogging on a very free Internet.

Howard Dean and his Deaniacs, helped to transform grassroots efforts also via the Internet. Passionate young people came to the fore.

Meanwhile, the MSM and cultural elites in Hollywood, along with the Good Old Boys and Gals in the hallowed halls of government and justice push back after taking some time to scratch their colletive pointy head disbelieving. How dare they? Who do they think they are? Well, time will tell what kind of people "they" are.

Ultimately, because of the God Gap, it really comes down to what exactly a person views as immoral.

One group views killing animals as immoral. The other views killing unborn children as immoral.
One group views a burdened woman while the guy goes off scott-free immoral. The other views sex outside of marriage immoral.
One group views fossel fuel use immoral. The other views drug use immoral.
And on and on it goes.

But under this, is a foundational belief. One group views The Bible to be God's written word and that Christianity and the Freedom that America embodied as a Christian country with God-given rights to be the best protection to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

The other group believes that only a Simpleton puts his faith in a God who may or may not exist and that the moral authority to freedom comes from the Individual, not God. Liberty rests in men and women fighting for their rights and those rights are defined by the individual. Men, in their essence, can come together for the common good and through this coming together benefit all.

In this secular world, which philosophy sounds more fun? Which philosophy gets reinforced daily by our popular media? Which philosophy seems more expansive and inclusive?

When wrapped up in working, taking care of kids, paying bills, etc. the underlying messages of most media we take in while unwinding in front of the tube and at the movies don't always cross the radar screen. In fact, most God-fearing Americans, those mindless-dimwits the Elites love to dismiss, possess a live and let live attitude.

Most God-fearers have friends or family who they love who are gay. Most God-fearers also believe that being a good steward of the environment is important--they just may believe that the path to conservation comes through individual rather than governmental ownership. Most God-fearers find animal cruelty horrible. Most God-fearers give very generously when tragedy strikes.

Why? The popular idea is that a God-fearing individual is a mindless robot programmed for world-destruction through domination. Again, a Christian can have a nuanced view because Christianity allows for it:

Hate the sin, love the sinner. Dress and keep the earth. Show love to the least of these. Jesus, Himself, is dressed and fed when those in need are dressed and fed.

Christianity allows for diversity of thought because a fundamental belief is that each person must answer to his Creator. It is not for one person to condemn another--but that doesn't mean that there is no sin.

America is rich beyond measure. Who gets credit for that? God or ingenuity (the common man)?

America helped plant Democracy around the globe. Why? Benevolent belief that God endows freedom or selfish colonialism (though we have no colonies)?

America is flawed. Why? Because people are flawed or the system is flawed?

Do we really want a secular, individual as god, state as savior, society? Do we really want society where the only agreement we have is that we all have equally valid opinions?

Where are we on the slippery slope? Ms. Noonan believes the Elites have given up and the train is careening off the tracks. I disagree. The Elites are fighting tooth and nail to grab the controls and wrest it from the common person who puts God above man. The Elites believe the future depends on Man--really important men, like them.

I don't see apathy when I see Senators bloviating, I see antipathy. I don't see apathy when I see that Hollywood puts out a T.V. show where "America is ready for a woman President" (which, by the way, we are, but must it be the Annointed--Hilary?), I see contempt. I don't see apathy when I see the NYT refusing to write a correction or retraction, I see arrogance.

Antipathy, contempt and arrogance require huge sums of energy--energy spent propping up and protecting power. Far from giving up, the Elites fight as if conceding that a Higher Power than them exists, means the destruction of civilization. In fact, for them it does--a civilized man is of a different and better class, a chosen class. Elite.

If America is going off-track, it is because it is being driven there willfully and with purpose. The path, as it always is, is the path of least resistence--also known as "good intentions." The drivers intend to end up in a man-made haven called Utopia where their rules reign supreme and everyone is equal.

If the Elites believed in Hell, that's where they'd end up--if they succeed. The jury is still out.

Gimme Some Smashmouth Football

2005-10-30T11:01:00.000-08:00

Sunday afternoon's breezes blow through trees whose leaves are leaving as I sit at my computer reading apocolyptic rhetoric from Peggy Noonan. Oh Peggy, where do I start? Mr. Dr. asked,"Do you think she is pre-Alzheimers?" No, but she did sound like old Aunt Chicken Little, "The kids these days. GRUMPH.... The sky is falling! The sky is falling!"

Ms. Noonan may be right, of course. Those acorns dropping on my head could be the beginning of something ominous. In fact, I don't have to look far to find evidence of all things and especially people who are nefarious, mendacious and pusilanimous. This among other reasons is why we don't have TV in our household.

Oh, we own televisions, we just don't buy Satellite TV or TiVO or Cable or any other channel delivery system for Ms. Noonan's very reason--things are bad. Do we need to hear it and see it and ruminate on it and pontificate about it over and over and over? NO!

TV, though, does possess a tonic for the bad news buggies: Football.

Football resolves things in ways politics never gets resolved. Two teams plan and practice ways to smash their opponent into oblivion. Strategy and surprise create tension and excitement. At the end of it all, one side wins. The other loses.

It is bad form for the losers to blame the other team, the refs, the fans, the red states or blue states. No, the players pull themselves together, get back in practice and have a go of it again next week. When will Washington losers get this message? Political losers spend more time crying foul than they spend on game plans and it shows.

Athletes, especially in basketball, get reputations if they "fall" too much feigning injury: floppers. The big cry babies annoy almost everyone and receive justifiable scorn. For all the money they make and all the elite training they receive we expect more than a soupy puddle under stress.

Since I have little hope that Washington insiders will ever get over themselves and since I depend on them gleefully pointing out infractions rather than actually playing the game they were elected to play (governence), my satisfaction will have to come from a more concrete and infinitely more enjoyable endeavor: football.

If only I had TV channels that worked.

Scooter Did What?

2005-10-28T16:09:00.000-07:00

While the rest of America went to work, helped kids with homework and took dogs for walks, Washington D.C.-ers waited breathlessly for a political genius to fall. Alas, Karl Rove still lurks next to W and a guy named Scooter, who by all accounts is as harmless as his name suggests, sits somewhere indicted of the same kind of ticky-tack stuff that landed Martha in the clink for six months and tethered to her house for a few more.

The only thing that these cases illustrate to me is that even powerful people are subjected to the torture only a zealous prosecuter can conjure up. For all the doctors, business people and other average Joes who unknowingly run amok of some federal, state or local statute and pay a huge financial, time and reputational price for essentially nothing, perhaps Scooter will get good representation and shove back. We can hope.

I tried to explain to a dear relative of mine (she knows who she is) that every one of us is guilty of something--America has so many laws now that none of us is immune. She balked. Ha! Let's hope the IRS never combs through her records for a start.

The problem with all this "investigation"? An indictment is not conviction of a crime, but it might as well be. For all intents and purposes, Scooter's reputation is toast no matter the outcome of the hugely expensive trial that he will have to pay whether he is found innocent or not. Toast.

The weird thing? People actually salivate and feel good about this. What is wrong with them? Don't they realize that they could be next?

Search Dr. M--It's Easy!

2005-10-27T21:25:00.000-07:00

Scroll down a bit and you'll notice right above the Abe Lincoln quote and you can search by topic. It's easy! And now I don't have to do the programming to catagorize everything. Have fun!

Technorati fuels that technology.

I Believe in Magic

2005-10-27T20:28:00.000-07:00

Do you believe in magic? I didn't, really, either, but it grew on me (not like a fungus, stop being so cynical!).

My friends love everything Disney like most people love their children or prized pets and it all seemed a tad excessive to me. I reserved judgement, though--I am the girl who has a 6' tall card board Legolas in my closet, afterall. What is the big deal about a Mouse-Eared Theme Park? I learned. Anyway, you can see my friends dedication at their website Laughing Place.

There is something magical about people being kind when you're dealing with three "energetic" children. There is something magical about the attention to perfectionistic detail. There is something magical about someone being prohibited from saying "I don't know" and then finding an answer for you. There is something magical about fireworks on a good day, but then team them up with lasers and music on a 30 acre surround-sound system and imagine a world at peace. That first night at Epcot, I felt magic through my tears, but I still didn't get it.

Meandering past people from all cultures getting along was definitely magical. Seeing the delight and anticipation in my son and daughter's faces as Cinderella and Jasmine hugged them was more than magical. Seeing my husband's face light up seeing Jasmine and wishing he could be hugged too was closer to hysterical than magical, but did prove entertaining. But, I still didn't get it.

And then, on day two, we had breakfast with Pooh. My kids marched along with Pooh and Piglet and Eeyore and Tigger in a clamorous indoor parade utterly unselfconscious and totally believing. They knew that "real people are in there mama", but for a moment they chose to forget and lose themselves in a world that was sweet and loving and friendly and forgiving.

I got it. A few days into Disney, my concern about Iraq and Avian Flu and Wilma waned. For ten days I got to lose myself in a world that was sweet and loving and friendly and forgiving. It is a longing that everyone, every single person in the whole wide civlized world has--that some day there will be peace on earth and perfection and answers to questions and kindness.

Now, I too believe in Magic. If only real life were as easy as Wishing Upon A Star. In the meantime, I have Disney and I can't wait to go back.

Back in the Saddle Again

2005-10-26T18:46:00.000-07:00

Hidey ho neighbors! Hope all is well in cyber-land. Although it feels like months since I've been gone, bumbling around the blogosphere makes me feel like no time has passed at all. I don't think that is a good thing.

Our trip exceeded my every expectation. The family togetherness and shared experiences will last a lifetime. I have a two lifetimes of picture management of work, unfortunately. I'll load some up for everyone part way through this one (lifetime, that is).

You know you've had a supercalifragilisticexpialidocious vacation when at least one member of the family gets sick. Yup, we've had one (vacation, that is). I haven't slept for a good 72 hours for more than two hours at a time. So this post will be short.

Got LOTS of topics to write about. It will be good, YOU'LL see. (I love invoking Pooh Bear.)

Wonderful World of Disney

2005-10-13T22:50:00.000-07:00

Going to be taking the family to Disneyworld. You may never hear from me again.

My only question: How is it possible to have no clothes and this negative thing, this black hole of style, weighs five thousand pounds? That's what I want to know. It's a mystery. Stephen Hawking needs to get right on that.

While I'm at the House of Mouse, Harriet Miers will be flagalated. Louis Farrakhan will wax elephant on explosives and dikes (not dykes, dikes). Burmese pythons will try to eat alligators. Iraq will attempt a democracy and for that many innocent people will get incinerated by nutjobs. The Astros will get their collective asses handed to them by the Braves.....again. Hey, wait a minute, the Astros won and are playing the Cardinals!

All in all, it will be a normal week and a half, which is to say completely nuts, but it will all go on anyway.

So, if Playhouse Disney or Rolie Polie Olie or a bunch of pre-feminist, needy princesses lock me in a room somewhere to rot, please know that I'll die fulfilled--my kids will have met Winnie-the-Pooh in person. What could be better than that? That's right! Nothin'!

The Value of Apology: A Path to Reconciliation

2005-10-12T13:51:00.000-07:00

What are the two hardest words to hear? Maybe "You're dying" or "You lose" or "You're wrong".

What are the two hardest words to say? That's easy. "I'm sorry."

In fact, some people would rather hear "You're dying" than say, "I'm sorry."

Apologizing for hurting someone or something that someone holds dear can be very difficult. Who wants to admit that he failed? Nearly nobody.

But a wise person admits his error and corrects it. A wiser person, and a humble one, admits it not just to himself, but also to the person affected by the error. The wisest person, does everything in his power to make the situation right--mending what can be mended.

Not admitting faults is stupid. Not apologizing is arrogant. Allowing the mistake to stay uncorrected reveals a serious character flaw. Ignorant arrogance: what a deadly combination.

Pop psychology focuses on forgiveness. Little time is spent on learning to take responsibility for mistakes and making them right. Both bitterness (a lack of forgiveness) and contempt (scornful towards those you've wronged) eat away at the fabric of the person.

This is the perfect time of year to take personal stock. Stop carrying the burden of bad behavior. Ask for forgiveness (not to dump your emotional baggage--note to those who have "cheated" on a spouse and want to "unload", for this I recommend your conversation be between you and God) and make it right, to the extent that you can. Some things can never be undone, but that doesn't mean a new start can't happen today.

If a person comes to you and asks for forgiveness and does everything in his power to make the situation right, give the blessing of forgiveness. It is a gift to the wrong-doer and to yourself. We've all been the person who messed up. It's good to remember that when contemplating forgiveness.

For those of you not versed in apology here's an example:

"Mr. ________, I am sorry that I _____________________. It was wrong and hurt you in this way: _________________________________. Please forgive me. To make up for what I did/said, I will ________________________________. Is that okay with you?"

In these days of "spinning" and "denial" and then absolute brutality when someone does finally apologize (instead of kind forgiveness), is it any wonder people don't want to own up to their mis-deeds? Well, the answer is to apologize and do right anyway.

Our own health, physical, spiritual and mental, depends on apologizing. It's an art that can be learned and practiced.

Reconciling ourselves to our friends, family, co-workers and customers. What could be a better way to start the day?

A Better Life

2005-10-10T18:33:00.000-07:00

While still in school, the dh and I visited my childhood chiropractic mentor. Funny, smart, intuitive and solid, he made his patients (including me) feel like the center of the universe when with him.

A particularily difficult patient (not the case, but the person herself) came in during our visiting time. Even the ever-unperturbed Dr. R seemed exasperated.

The woman, a semi-professional mountain-biker, had hit a stump going downhill about 35 miles per hour and landed square on her head--the full compressive force jarring through her spinal column and mashing her cervicals all the way up to her atlas (the bone the cranium rests on). She had waited six months for it to "get better" as if that would happen by magic and then wanted the good doctor to "fix me up" in one visit.

Right.

"Why don't people want to get well?" I asked. By that meaning--not just patched up but really well. This woman could be an even better athlete with a little body-maintenance afterall.

"All people want to get well, Melissa," he corrected, "not all know how."

His words stuck with me, but it has taken years to figure it out. My experience hadn't been that everyone wanted to get well. Quite the contrary, in fact. Some people seemed to relish being sick--talking about "my arthritis" or "my surgery" or "my cancer" as a badge of honor that defined them. These people seemed, to my view, to actively try to stay un-well.

If you asked the un-well people though, they would vociferously defend their actions, saying they desired to get better BUT the chemo didn't work, or the doctors removed the wrong organ (I kid you not) or the medication needed to be at a higher dose.

Did you notice that not one of those actions was pro-active? The underlying belief was "if someone else did their jobs better, I'd be well."

Dr. R was right, though. People do want to be well, very often, the pay-offs of change to be well don't outweigh the risks of being sick.

Often the choices necessary to get better scare the tar out of us and we either paralyze deer in the headlights style, or "run from the pain" like some thoroughbred horses do when sick.

Lifestyle changes can mean many frightening things: confronting wife about her mean mouth so home is a place of peace where peace and healing is possible, irritating the kids by changing everyone's diets to healthier food, taking time from a demanding boss by going for a walk at lunch or upsetting hubby about finances when he sees your actions as self-indulgent quackery.

You see? Getting healthy means a lot more than "self-control" and "discipline". It often means upsetting some pretty heavy-laden applecarts.

Longterm health gains won't happen keeping the system that produced the illness the same. A person embarking on a journey to health needs the loving support of friends and family. That might mean letting some relationships go and building others.

Everyone wants to get healthy. Getting healthy means healthy ideas, beliefs, relationships and the traditional diet and exercise.

Scary? Maybe. Worth it? Absolutely.

Internet Control: Understand the Ramifications

2005-10-09T07:08:00.000-07:00

Here's more. Thanks Instapundit.

Good News

2005-10-08T16:36:00.000-07:00

What have Houstonians coveted lo this long summer? Cool weather.

We got it yesterday. The temps dropped from 100 degrees (you know you're numb when 94 degrees feels perceptably different than 98) to 65 in one day. Not great for the respiratory system, but awesome in every single other way.

Tonight, the windows open to blue skies fading into a pink sunset. The cool air making the homemade chicken nuggets (you ain't a Texan if you don't got a deep fryer) and spaghetti dinner taste all that more yummy.

Ahhh, autumn has finally arrived in Houston. Hallalujuah!

Harriet Humor

2005-10-07T21:38:00.000-07:00

Ok. This is funny. Thanks, Andrew Sullivan.

Health Needed For Wealth

2005-10-07T17:58:00.000-07:00

You may have noticed fewer posts of recent. Well, kidney infections tend to sideline even the most stout-hearted. And this blogger was sidelined or rather, clothes-lined linebacker-style in bed.

During this painful time, I managed to read a few articles regarding "work-life balance" and "the networked family". The bottom line? Yes, you're overworked, but with proper technology and if corporations get out of a "industrialized" mind-set it will be okay.

What a bunch of hooey.

With everyone working, no one sees the kids (but we text message all the time.) With everyone working, good food is out of the question so fast food is de rigeur (who has the time to cook?). With everyone working, we march through life like good soldiers (who has time to worship, enjoy peace and just think?).

All this work is to feed the beast, keep in mind. These are upper-income wager-earners who work for the BMW (too good for a Chevy), the McMansion (must live at the right address even if you only sleep there on the off times you're not out of town on business), and the right private schools and day care (appease the guilt of being away).

But I digress.

My real point in talking about this issue: without health all this goes down the drain. While on the phone with a potential client her to-do list poured out like a stricken lament. With all this to do, how do I fit time in to clarify my life and take care of my health?

My answer was simple: How can you afford not to?

Performance coaches, alternative health doctors, team builders and anything "preventative" often receive much derision by those who are "results oriented". Eating well, exercising, and the corporate equivalent of planning for the future, spending time creatively and for both the individual and corporation--resting, seem wasteful.

Here is my list of wasteful: painful surgeries and down-sizings, stupid marriages and mergers, and generally running around putting out fires instead of building individual and corporate health.

We need less Sun-Tzu and more Lao-tse.

Most health woes whether individual or corporate can be prevented. A tired, but useful example is a car: would you expect the engine to keep working if you never change the oil? No, but people and businesses do it all the time and with infinitely more to lose.

It is unsurprising that the number one way people end up in bankruptcy is health woes. How long would you survive financially a long-term health trauma?

I thought so. An ounce of prevention....you know the drill. (hint: is worth a pound of cure)

Internet Control

2005-10-06T09:50:00.000-07:00

We are in trouble. Are you familiar with that little organization called the United Nations? Do you want these American haters controlling information in the future?

One gets the impression that the E.U. is so concerned about reclaiming world domination back from the Yankees back that they will destry themselves to do it.

UPDATE: Glenn Reynolds has more.

HERE'S MORE on efforts by the UN and EU to take over the Internet. You can bet that they'll do their best to quash criticism of corrupt international bureaucracies if that happens.

UPDATE: Reader Julian Morrison emails:

It's like I posted to Slashdot: why would the EU and the UN want to grab control, when that control right now is only being used for laissez faire? Because they want to /stop/ the laissez faire!

China wants to take down Tibetan and Falun Gong sites. Germany wants to ban neonazis from the internet. The arab nations would want to kick off Israel until it "fulfils its international obligations". Etc etc. This is nothing less than an attempt to stuff the information genie back into its bottle.

At all costs, they must be prevented from claiming the spurious moral high ground! Confront them with the question: what would you change? And, why not go through process at ICANN? What would you want to do,
that they would refuse? And why?

Spanish Flu Recreated

2005-10-06T08:17:00.000-07:00

Scientists have recreated the flu that killed over 50 million people and are making it available to other researchers worldwide.

Studying it to prevent it? I can maybe see the logic. Although the same virus scientists have yet to create a vaccine for the common cold or HIV or even a really effective Flu vaccine. How exactly do doctors plan to prevent the virus they just recreated that was a slate-wiper--kills everyone who catches it?

Sharing it? The logic seems flawed. Any vengeful or morally bankrupt scientist could sell the virus to evil people and reek more havoc than a neutron bomb ever could.

Is it just me or does the world get more dangerous every day--mostly by unintended consequences?

Drug Problems

2005-10-06T07:38:00.000-07:00

Fruits and veggies interact with drugs. Who would have thought?

The topic of the above linked article is grapefruit juice (a very nice digestive aid because it is so acidic so you absorb what you eat) and how it reduces the recommended dose of a drug because you absorb more.

For a long time, the medical profession has had it both ways--medicine changes your body-mind chemistry but food just feeds you and, even more wrong, it doesn't matter what you eat.

Alternative doctors, like Mr. Dr. and me, have long used food as medicine. Guess what? Organic food and food based supplements don't cause side effects and reactions because your body recognizes them and knows how best to use them. That doesn't mean they don't change your body chemistry, because they do. Just because there is no pain (side-effects) doesn't mean there is no gain.

Medicines are unnatural and the body views them as invaders and tries to excrete them any way possible. That is why liver and kidney problems follow prolonged drug use--it doesn't matter what drug, either. From the Pill to Penicillin, the body gets forced and manipulated and doesn't like it.

So, yes food and medicine interact. Some foods are acidic, some alkaline. That one factor alone will significantly change your chemistry. Some foods contain salicylates (the compound that makes up aspirin) and so are natural pain killers and blood thinners--apples, for example.

It is not shocking to me that drugs and food interact. What is shocking is that researchers are finally looking into the topic because it is so obvious to health doctors who receive nutrition education. (Medical doctors don't. They learn about pharmacology to the almost complete exclusion of nutrition.)

Here's the funny part: the recommendations coming out of this research won't include avoiding the drug. Oh no! The recommendation won't be eat more apples and lay off the aspirin. Oh no! The recommendations will be: don't eat apples (or drink grapefruit juice or whatever) while taking aspirin. This advice implies that the synthetic foreign substance (medication) belongs in the body while the natural, health-building food with no side-effects does not.

Could there be a more screwy perspective?

Ms. Meirs Supreme Court Justice

2005-10-05T21:16:00.000-07:00

I voted for President Bush for one reason: the Supreme Court. It's not that I don't care about Iraq or budgets or social services or road building. I do.

But all that stuff (except war) will happen with or without the President--the Congress legislates and the Pres accepts it or vetoes it. Supreme Court Judges ultimately have infinitely more power than the folks in the other branches of government.

Shouldn't we at least know where this person comes from? It disturbs me that we have a Chief Justice who is essentially like the Saturday Night Live character Pat. Is he a he or a she? We can't tell. We can't tell anything about him. We know even less about Ms. Meir. We voted. Bush won. We all, whether Democrat or Republican, should know--even if we don't like what we find out.

I want a constitutional judge on the Supreme Court. No, the Constitution is not a "living breathing document". The framers had an intent for every word written. That intent must be what governs decisions not a few guys in black robes who believe their person opinions matter more than the guiding principles within the Constitution.

Peggy Noonan says it better than I could.

Toilet Trained: A Lesson in Operant Conditioning

2005-10-04T20:14:00.000-07:00

While sitting on the toilet the other day, I had an epiphany: my new house's toilets managed to change my whole family's behavior.

B.F. Skinner a well-known psychologist (to psychologists--he doesn't have the same name recognition as Pavlov) was the father to Behavioral Therapy.

One way to encourage behavior is to reward it. A way to extinguish (get rid of) unhelpful behavior is to make the consequences of the behavior so repugnant, disgusting, frustrating that the behavior gets extinguished. This can be done by negative reinforcement, extinction or punishment.

My toilets chose negative reinforcement.

At my old house, after going #2 a person could essentially wad up a whole roll of toilet paper and the toilets would flush. Rarely would it plug up unless someone had week-long constipation or something (but I digress).

At my new house, the toilets have set the limit of toilet paper at four squares. Period.

Now ladies (and men too, but they care less) we all know that four squares are not enough--except for meals. So, like you, I used more. My kids used more. My husband used more. Guests used more.

During the first week at the house, one of my first purchases were two shiny new plungers. One for each bathroom.

How much do I hate plungers? Words fail me. It is impossible to adequately describe how despicable clogged toilets can be day in, day out, day in, day out. And with Daddy at work all day and into the night guess who gets to (to the tune of Whistle While You Work from Snow White) plunge, plunge, plunge, plunge, plunge, plunge, plunge, plunge, all the whole day long?

That's right ME!

Somewhere along week two, I freaked out. I became the TP Police (kinda like an MP but meaner). My kids freaked. They started throwing used toilet paper into the trash because mom might lose it if the toilet plugs again. We all went back to Freud's anal stage for a while. It wasn't pretty.

Slowly, subtly we changed. Against our collective will, we became raging environmentalists. "Only four pieces of toilet paper. Do ya hear me? FOUR!"

We traded off TP for tread marks and upped our Bleach usage (the only thing that kills bacteria is very hot water and bleach, word to the wise.)

What's my point? I do have one, actually. If a toilet can change our behavior, we can shape behavior, too.

Dr. Phil of psychobabble fame always says "we teach others how to treat us." And he's right.

A group of sociology students thinking they were funny conditioned their teacher. Every time he hit a topic they liked they made eye-contact, leaned forward and feigned rapt attention. Every time he diverted into a boring topic, they yawned, looked away and acted disinterested. It worked. They counted the time, and the professor slowly, but surely taught the information that was reinforced and stayed away from the yuck topic. Operant conditioning at work.

We do this every day. Why do we keep getting certain people in our life? Because we are still in our own life and our words, beliefs, and mostly actions (communication is about 90% NON-verbal) reinforce certain behaviors.

So here's the deal: be like the toilet. Decide how you want to be treated and then reinforce behavior you like and extinguish behavior that bugs you.

Don't like your kid's whiney voice? Don't yell back (or worse whine, "Johnny don't doooooo that" wah, wah, wah). Ignore him. He get's nothing, not one thing until he uses the tone you want.

Sick of your husband dropping his clothes all over the house? Don't pick them up. Don't wash them. Leave them to rot. Ditto the dishes. When he asks what's going on--tell him that you clean the clothes that make it to the laundry basket. (And say it happily and sweetly--this will reinforce his communication with you. A snide tone will kill your progress.)

Want your wife to show more appreciation? Show appreciation to her (modelling). Then when she throws you even the tiniest of bones, reinforce it. Say something like, "thanks for noticing and saying something it means a lot to me." Be enthusiastic and encouraging in your tone and action.

If this all seems like too much effort, consider how your past behavior has worked. Maybe some change, on your part, is in order.

A word on punishment: this is the easiest form of behavior modification but is the equivalent of winning the battle but losing the war. Except in extremely unique circumstances, it should be avoided at all costs. Why?

Punishment usually works only as long as the punisher is around. The punishments breed resentment which causes other more undesirable behavior.

For example, an age-old standard punishment is "withholding". You married people know what I mean. Rather than solve the problem, it breeds hostility. The situation spirals.

Another example is yelling "no!" over and over to kids. Until a child approaches three, negatives are difficult to understand in the abstract anyway. Better to reinforce positive behavior and use positive language "hold the cup with two hands", "nice job putting the cup on the table!" rather than "don't spill the milk!" No behavior is specifically requested and the message sent is "spill the milk" because the negative, the word "don't", is not processed. If the child does spill, make her wipe it up. This might be called a negative reinforcement. (Oops, I have to clean when I spill.)

Don't argue with me on this one, these are actually very simple psychological principles.

Like the toilet, be clear on the behavior you want. (Few paper products please.) When the desired behavior is performed, reward it. (Nice, easy flush.) When the undesired behavior is performed ignore it or negatively reinforce it. (Overflowing toilets with objectionable contents.)

We can change our behavior and so can other people. We don't have to play victim. Grabbing hold of destiny includes teaching people how to treat us.

Toilet training takes on a whole new meaning, doesn't it?

Doctors Drop Patients

2005-10-03T16:56:00.000-07:00

Doctors don't like to be questioned. Vaccine refusal is especially contentious says a new study. Vaccines, the holy grail of medicine right after the discovery of penicillin (and the related germ theory), must be enjoyed by all...or else.

Of 302 pediatricians questioned, 256 said they had encountered a parent who refused to let a child receive at least one vaccination in the previous 12 months, and 162 -- 39 percent of the group -- who had a parent refuse all vaccinations.

The refusals were most commonly based on safety concerns, worries about children getting multiple vaccines at once, philosophical reasons and religious beliefs, said the report from Chicago's Rush Medical College.

"In the case of parents refusing specific vaccines, 82 (28 percent of the doctors) said that they would ask the family to seek care elsewhere; for refusal of all vaccines, 116 (39 percent) of pediatricians said they would refer the family" to another doctor, said the report.

The reason physicians cite most often for wanting to drop such patients were lack of shared goals and lack of trust, added the study published in the October issue of the Archives of Pediatrics & Adolescent Medicine.

Houston Astros: Emotional Blocks

2005-10-03T06:56:00.000-07:00

Oy. The Astros are at it again. Squeaking into the post-season. Losing in the first round, if the script stays the same. Which good money says it will.

"That's the Astros' way," Craig Biggio said, "The only way we know how to get it done." Indeed.

The team reminds me of some people (me included) who keep finding themselves in the same situation. These people make life difficult for themselves for no apparent reason except that it keeps life exciting--or excruciating depending upon your emotional health.

Individuals, teams, families and businesses all fall into the repeated unhealthy emotional script routine. No less than Albert Einstein himself said that the definition of insanity was "to do the same thing over and over again and expect different results."

The Astros are insane.

Here's an exercise for you today: what chronic, persistent grief exists in your life? Having the same argument with your spouse? Still fighting an in-law? Wondering why you find yourself working under a lunatic male boss who reminds you eerily of daddy dearest? Haggling with a co-worker and it is reminiscent of battles with big sister? I could go on and on....

Work through the grief on paper. What triggers the script? What factors aggravate the script? Most important: what do you get out of keeping the script alive?

Then, work out a way to change the script. Challenge your long held beliefs, emotions and actions. Do you really believe that you'll get fired if you create that boundery? Must you get angry every time someone questions your intelligence regarding your area of expertise? Is it necessary to go play a round of golf in spite, when you're frustrated rather than talking about it?

My guess about the Astros? The Killer B's thrive on being heros. So much so in fact, that they will create a crisis in order to "save the day". Thus, they find themselves in danger at the end of every season, but like a good comic book, da-de-da! all works out.

But this script consumes huge amounts of emotional energy that could be spent preparing for the next round of battles. Other teams who clinch their play-off berths much earlier, have the emotional space to enjoy their winning seasons and prepare mentally for the next round. The Astros are deprived of this needed time.

The Astros meet the post-season physically and emotionally wasted. Then they lose. The team simply runs out of steam.

This script obviously pays more dividends for them than winning handily and going strong into the post season would. In fact, my guess without working with their team (oh, would I love to work on 'em), is that playing out this script is more satisfying than winning the Pennent.

No way, critics would say. "You just don't know how hard it is to make it in the pros into the post-season." "You just don't understand how long a season can be."

Individual clients say, "You just don't know my boss, my husband/wife, my mother-in-law or father-in-law, my sad history...."

True. But I do know what I see in front of me. And past behavior on the client's part is the best predictor of future behavior. The thing is, while following the script offers temporary pay-offs (martyred myrtle, win-the-argument willie, hero hal) , ultimately we feel like big losers--again.

Mindlessly following a script gets you in the same place. Unconscious emotional barriers often exist in these scripts--and to remove those barriers you need the help of a trained Neuroemotional Technique doctor. But there is much work that you can do to explore these "life themes" yourself.

The Astros need some serious help. They are a fascinating case study in "stuck scripts". I would offer my team-building program to them free today if they would take it. Maybe then Houston's hometown heroes could remove their unconscious barriers to winning it all instead of just "saving the day."

Good News Saturday

2005-10-01T20:27:00.000-07:00

Writing from New Jersey (thus the fewer posts), the location of my continuing ed for 2005. Learning a lot.

The weather turned cool upon arrival with temps in the 70s during the day and 40s at night. Perfect Autumn weather. The crisp night breezes and the crickets rhythmically chirping sends waves of nostalgia rushing over me.

I love Texas. My friends don't understand it, but I do. It's not the most beautiful state. It's not the most refined state. But it is big and generous and full of opportunity. The possibilities seem as endless as the long stretches of highway under the black expanse of sky.

But my love for Texas will never dim fond memories of the north--the fall belongs to the "Yankee" states. (Springtime in Paris, Christmas in New York and Autumn in the north and mid-west.) Trees full of apples, jugs of apple cider from those apples and apple-cider donuts that satisfy the lusty hunger that a chill in the air brings--that's Autumn.

Oh, this I miss.

Today, with the sun mellowing the air, we drove the New Jersey countryside. Zipping over the hills and around the bends of old roads lined with huge ancient trees and rolled hay bales. We watched horses in the pasture and sheep chewing--my sister mourned the loss of two woolly black sheep who met their demise recently. She counted this pair as her personal pets and slowed down and greeted them on her drive to and from work each day.

A Texas hayride in October, when the temperature still hits 90 feels stickily stifling compared to wearing flannel shirts and jeans and boots and snuggling under a heavy blanket on a frosty cold Michigan night while rambling over some farmer's field. My kids don't know the difference and have a great time. I have a great time too, but I know the difference. I remember.

So yesterday, today and tomorrow morning, I've been inhaling the scents and scouring the sights, not wanting to miss a thing. Storing more away, reawakening memories and making them richer in the remembering.

Another thing about Autumn in the north: The air carries sound differently. Wafting through the windows, a baseball game clearly transmits from the neighbor's yard, who are planting fat yellow mums. On Friday nights, cheers from a football game echo against hills. Excitement shivers down my spine hearing distant voices rise and fall.

This I miss.

Memory is a funny thing. Sadness and loss can distort pictures in our mind and make us forget things altogether.

Some memories are so perfect, such reflections of God Himself, that when we experience them again, they are precisely, exactly, comfortingly the same. These blessed memories crowd out the bleak and bad, thankfully. Good memories remain clear and sure.

I love Autumn in the North. The beauty and loveliness will linger in my mind and heart--ripe, sweet memories as satisfying as fresh-pressed apple cider and warm home-made donuts.

I will remember and oh, how I will miss it.

Rita: How Soon We Forget

2005-09-29T14:12:00.000-07:00

Residents north of Houston, specifically The Woodlands and Conroe (my area of knowledge) won't soon forget Rita. In fact, most people are either without power or have the joy of rolling black-outs. No one complains too much--we all realize it could have been much, MUCH worse.

It seems that other people, however, have very short memories indeed. A friend stayed home from work on Monday and Tuesday since all the schools were closed (and a lot of everything else, save a few grocery stores). Her boss called her Monday saying, "You really need to look for a back-up source for child-care."

You have got to be kidding me. So a boss in the Katy area who is experiencing no inconvenience from the storm, whatsoever, assumes everyone else is in the same luxury yacht she floats in.

And then, talking to people from up north (anywhere north of the gulf-coast), it is amazing how little play this whole thing is getting. Oh yeah, yeah, the hurricane. Blah, blah, blah.

Oh realllly? the hurricanes are no big deal, 'eh? I bet these same people will be screaming when they purchase their home heating oil.

They can kiss my rear while they keep the thermostat at 60 degrees because "it's too expensive." Lovely readers, please catalog this little post and remember it mid-January when a huge "nor-Easter" blows through dumping three feet of snow (global warming the cause, no doubt) and people are "freezing to death" because they "can't afford to heat their homes".

I can hear Ted Kennedy now: "We cahn't heat the homes of the elderly. We need to raise tahxes."

Blech.

One problem with the mass media breathlessly reporting from the "eye of the storm", is that it all feels like a good adventure movie--like the trauma and loss aren't really real. Sound bite rolls into sound bite and the next big thing happens.

While no one expects never-ending tears and sympathy--heck most tears that will be cried over this storm have already fallen even for those going through it--a little slack would be helpful.

And employers? Surely you can have patience with people sleeping in 100 degree heat or people without homes at all.

We all need mercy some time. A natural disaster seems like as good a time as ever to extend some.

Hurricane Aftermath: The Story of Resilience

2005-09-28T20:17:00.000-07:00

Bill Murcheson says:

We commission government to shield us from bad things, only to find that government -- made up of fallible human beings like ourselves -- lacks the necessary magical powers.

Indeed. Read more here.

Rita: Federal Funds Helping Churches

2005-09-28T20:06:00.000-07:00

Should faith-based organizations receive federal money in the wake of disaster relief? No. Faith based organizations receive reduced-tax dollars from their members and are tax exempt themselves. They are guided by the Christian principle "give as they are able." They shouldn't do more than that. Period.

Linda Chavez says that faith-based organizations were the "first responders" to the crisis while Nagan, Blanco and FEMA fooled around. True enough. When will the government ever be more efficient than an individual or church? Uh, never. Federal funds will gum up the works for faith-based organizations.

Give people more incentives to give charitably. Cut their taxes so they have more to give.

Rita: Price Gouging and Market Lessons

2005-09-28T19:59:00.000-07:00

People were stranded two miles from me on I-45. Many strategies to avoid this nonsense could have been employed--better travel management, for one. My husband said that exits should have been open in Galveston moving up I-45 at intervals and then you wouldn't be allowed on the freeway until another interval. So you would get on the exit in Galveston and the rest of the exits until north of Conroe would be sealed by police, blockades, etc. Then systematically opened as you moved north. Makes sense to me.

Here's another idea: Walter Williams says "let the market work". Indeed.

Abused Children Distracted by Anger at School

2005-09-28T13:51:00.000-07:00

The thing that alarms me about this research: is it ethical to put abused children in a situation where they perceive more abuse? Sheesh! Sounds terrible, and abusive, too.

Episiotomies in Wide Use Even Though No Science Supporting Them

2005-09-28T13:17:00.000-07:00

Wow. This is a shocker. A useless procedure that nets a doctor $400 for a 15 second cut and it's still around. An episiotomy and the "repair" cause the woman untold grief while recovering from the birth itself. They cause pain for months afterward adversely affecting her sex-life.

The most alarming thing? I know women who have asked for one! Clearly, women have been buffaloed about the so-called benefits. There aren't any. There is no such thing as a "controlled cut" when 10 cm head is pushing through a very small and stretchy openening. In fact, violating the integrity of the birth canal opening makes it weaker. Often a woman tears at the end of the cut.

"Episiotomy is one of those practices that became routine in obstetrics based on lots of theory and virtually no evidence that it was beneficial," says Dr. Graham. "Now decades later there is an accumulation of studies showing the practice is actually not beneficial, and in some cases can even be harmful, yet the operation continues to be performed liberally in many parts of the world. This is a prime example of some health care providers not keeping up-to-date with the literature. Women should be talking to their health care providers about this."

Episiotomies should be banned except in shoulder distocia and breech births. And even then they should be used judiciously.

Gastric By-Pass

2005-09-28T13:11:00.000-07:00

People treated in public hospitals often don't receive gastric by-pass. Good. It's a horrible surgery with horrible side-effects. Over 50% of those who receive it are fat again within two years. Nutrient absorbtion is reduced to nil. People end up even more malnourished. The remaining part of their stomach re-expands. Guess what? Fat again!

The real problem is malnutrition to begin with. While people eat more food, it is food that lacks nutrition (processed foods, fast food, sodas, basically junk food) which makes people hungry because their bodies are starved of real nutrition. People get fatter and feel more hungry.

If you refuse to eat right, at least supplement your bad diet with WHOLE FOOD NUTRITION. Visit www.DrClouthier.blogspot.com for more information.

Aneurism Hope

2005-09-28T13:09:00.000-07:00

A friend died from a Berry aneurism. This treatment offers hope--in the hands of the right doctor.

Rita: Weary Travellers At Our Door

2005-09-28T12:25:00.000-07:00

Friends without power called and then stopped by today to do laundry and sit in A/C. They look pretty good, better than I imagine I would, considering.

Right now they just seem to be soaking up the cool air. Heh.

Rita: Power Outages Continue

2005-09-27T21:34:00.000-07:00

We have friends around Montgomery county who have suffered without power since the storm hit. Those of us with power lay cool with gratitude. Tempers are starting to flare everywhere, though. It is difficult to work without power. It is difficult to sleep without power. It is difficult to have a good attitude.

This message board says it all.

Welcome AW Readers

2005-09-27T21:06:00.000-07:00

Hello subversives from ages past. Welcome and thank you for visiting.

Check out the archives where you will find health-related research and links, thoughts on leadership and psychology, and essays examining the not-so-obvious side of human behavior.

Leave a hello if you know us.

Mary Mapes--Remember Her?

2005-09-27T08:57:00.000-07:00

Mary Mapes, the producer for CBS who along with Dan Rather foisted forgeries on American voters and (for once) got caught red-handed defends herself. That these two still act like they are victims when their actions harmed more people than the president--can you say lost trust? Can you say cynicism? Can you say discredited? Journalists have nothing if they have zero integrity and don't even try to look like they seek the truth.

Anyway, she's on the prowl again. Let's hope she stays unemployed. The more she talks the more she makes her case worse. Oy.

Thanks Instapundit, again.

President Bush Wants To Be Liked, Too

2005-09-27T06:54:00.000-07:00

One criticism of the president is his steadfastly sticking to a point-of-view, not caring that eveyone disagrees. I don't know about that. While he stays the course in Iraq, he seems way to concerned about what some people think about immigration (and won't deal with it), about rebuilding NOLA (political suicide if he says let's step back and look at the facts?), about cutting spending (keeping congress people happy at the expense of the tax payers).

My opinion? He cares what people think--just the wrong people. I didn't mind if he p.o.'d Democrats. They didn't vote for him. I do mind that he seems deaf to his voter's opinions.

Katrina: News Coverage Exaggerated Reports

2005-09-27T06:44:00.000-07:00

Well, I bought the Superdome Hype like everyone else and am embaressed to say so. I even reported some heresay, myself. It was third-hand and unverified [by me]. It is difficult to believe that a police officer would make stories up, but maybe he too didn't have all the facts.

To give myself a teensy-weensy bit of credit, the thought about when the people were going to come forward to press charges popped into my head--but not long enough to stop me and get me critically thinking.

Ugh. Being a mindless rube is so embaressing. Watching the reporters salivate and animate annoyed me, but I swallowed the message hook, line and sinker. A lesson learned. The MSM will do and say ANYTHING for ratings. Truth takes a back seat.

Stuck on Stupid: Have You Seen This Yet?

2005-09-26T23:45:00.000-07:00

Every once in a while I worry that no real leaders exist. And then.....this. Thanks to The Political Teen.

Super Satire

2005-09-26T23:28:00.000-07:00

Funny. Read more here.

Lyndie England Convicted

2005-09-26T23:08:00.000-07:00

Lyndie England meets justice Army-style today.

I have mixed emotions. When I think of torture, putting someone on a leash naked (while humiliating and degrading) doesn't come to mind. Tasers, getting beat about the head and neck, losing a finger or two, head held under water until you almost drown, etc. come to mind. Her actions don't seem to rise to the level of torture. In fact, to frame it that way minimizes the true torture that prisoners of war in wars past really endured. Hell it minimizes the torture kid-knapped workers and soldiers of this war endure at the hands of the psycho-Islamofascists. Lyndie's stupidity seems to be small taters in comparison.

The real damage done by Lyndie and the other grinning idiots? Energizing the enemy. By never considering that these images would get out and never considering how the pictures would "inflame the passions", the soldiers involved confirmed the "evil American" view. The whole thing was stupid and short-sighted.

These soldiers damaged their own sides efforts. They should know the images would shame Americans--'cuz we know better and do beter. They should know their actions would degrade the impression of the military and legitimize the cynicism the media and anti-war people already possess. In short, their actions were bad enough. Taking pictures of it? Beyond stupid.

And for that they all should be punished.

What Price Freedom?

2005-09-26T22:35:00.000-07:00

The strongest democracies bled much on their way to freedom. It is difficult to read in history books. It is even harder to read in the news and know that today people suffer. Perhaps like Poland and other countries that took their fate into their hands, Iraq will emerge stronger than we think and surprise those of us who worry that sectarian violence will undo it all.

Rita: It's Not Over Today

2005-09-26T22:17:00.000-07:00

I spoke too soon. Today, not many posts. Did you notice that? Well, greater Houstonians are currently enjoying record-breaking heat (I can hear my relatives in Michigan and New York laughing right now: BUWAHAHAHAHA!!!!) in their non-air conditioned homes because of rolling black-outs.

Here's the deal: Yesterday wires were down everywhere. Today, they are getting put back together. Yesterday, people were still in San Antonio, Austin, Dallas, etc. Today they have returned home and would like their electricity thank you very much. Yesterday the few lines carrying energy from Beaumont worked okay for those of us who still had power. Today, it's not enough.

The result? Rolling black-outs until everyone is up.

Entergy began rolling blackouts north of Houston because of heavy demand on its damaged system. [emphasis added--we are north of Houston]

KHOU calls it "misery". That is not a strong enough word for no A/C at 3:00 p.m. that lasts for hours.

Rita: UPS Delivers

2005-09-26T10:37:00.000-07:00

UPS is here with my chain saw. Cool!

Accupressure Keeps You Awake During Boring Sermons

2005-09-26T10:35:00.000-07:00

The actual research used students as subjects but I extrapolated. Stimulating certain accupressure points (chinese meridian points) keeps you awake and alert while sitting and listening for a long time.

Immune System Communication

2005-09-26T10:31:00.000-07:00

One of the biggest questions medical research fails to answer: How does your big toe know how to fight an infection that you had only ever experienced in your ear?

Turns out the immune system communicates via hidden tunnels. No, I am not kidding.

Rita Aftermath: Back to Normal in Houston

2005-09-26T10:24:00.000-07:00

Everything is getting back to normal. I might go out shopping with the kids today. Hot as blue blazes. Whew. We are pushing toward October and it is still 100 degrees outside.

I'm going to go back to posting normal stories. While thousands still suffer without power, we're keeping them in mind even as we get back to normal.

Rita: Funny Thing

2005-09-26T07:28:00.000-07:00

On Saturday while breezes still blew it became obvious we dodged a bullet--all was a-ok. One thing struck me. Why weren't people out in my neighborhood cleaning up? Debris in the form of leaves, sticks, pine needles and some branches lay on everyones' lawns.

And then the neighbor answered for me on Sunday. Everyone (except us) has a lawn service. No one even owns lawn mowers, blowers, trimmers and weed wackers. Heh.

My friend made fun of us and called us "rich people wanna bes" 'cuz we have no lawn service. And I'm like dude, even if we had a lawn service we'd keep our lawn equipment. Jeez. While falling short in the do-it-yourself-work by good-ole-boy standards we are not total tools.

NOLA Wants YOUR Money

2005-09-26T06:46:00.000-07:00

"This bill boggles the mind," said Steve Ellis, a water resources expert at Taxpayers for Common Sense. "Brazen doesn't begin to describe it. The Louisiana delegation is using Katrina as an excuse to resurrect a laundry list of pork projects."

Big shock here. Louisiana, and its crown jewel city New Orleans, two of the most corrupt political entities in the USA want 16x what the Army Corp of Engineers say would be required to "fix" NOLA and 10x the Army's annual budget, $40 Billion--thats with a "B"--and that all this money should be controlled by (yup, you guessed it, the same people who sent federal money to casinos instead of shoring up the levees) New Orleans and Louisiana governments.

And so it begins.

Update: John Fund says clean up the corruption. Via Instapundit.

Another person who thinks like I do about letting NOLA go.

Natural Disasters & More National Control

2005-09-25T21:06:00.000-07:00

Just because Governor Blanco and Mayor Nagin are complete morons does not mean that the federal government needs more control, like President Bush suggests, in natural disaster situations. We are a representative democracy. If the dim-bulbs of Louisiana vote for a dim-bulb, they are represented by a dim-bulb.

Does being represented by a dim-bulb stink? Yes, it does. But it is their own dang fault.

Hurricane Rita at The Woodlands: What I Have Learned

2005-09-25T13:41:00.000-07:00

Mr. Dr. blew the yard off, cleaned the garage of canine excrement (ewwww!) and checked in with neighbors and friends while I wrestled the baby, marinated some meat and cleaned up inside. Our friends have gone to their home since they have A/C and electric now.

While puttering around I pondered what could have been done differently and better. While people belly-ache about FEMA and local governments, it is clear to me that each person must be responsible for themselves. There are simply too many people with dire needs. That is who the Government should help. I estimate the "dire needs number" at 2 percent of the population (think hospitals, elderly homes, orphans and widows). Probably 10 percent have intense needs (paycheck to paycheck, little famial support). And probably 10 percent more are just stupid (I'll be fine, denial of the possible disaster, no planning--not for lack of resources.) All told, probably 20% really need the emergency resources.

But the rest of the 80% needs to have their collective act together. It's called SELF-RELIANCE. It is AMERICAN. And it is ESSENTIAL in crisis. Here is what we thought of too late:

We need a generator. With temps in the 100s it is unthinkable to be without A/C. Energy is too fickle with just regular old thunderstorms.
We need at least one, maybe two chain saws. We are surrounded by beautiful trees. Their lovliness turns ominous with a tornado or hurricane coming. We might have enough gas, but if a tree falls and blocks us in, we're stuck anyway.
You can't have too much duct tape.
You can't have too much plastic sheeting.
Everyone should own a gun. After Katrina, I posted that we were going to go gun hunting. And we did have the ball partially rolling, with friends giving helpful advice and checking prices on the internet and all. But we needed one yesterday, not some time in the future. Yes, a gun is needed for protection. But if push came to shove, a gun can kill a deer for meat. We have lots of them around here--fat ones too 'cuz they munch unmolested in our planned community.
Buy more perishables than you think. I know this advice runs counter to Dr. Neil Frank's advice. He says its all lost in a big storm. But my recent experience says not really. With extra people in the house, we went through milk and eggs and bread and butter at an alarming rate. Our gas stove and grill would have worked. We could have cooked for a lot longer with the food we had. We had plenty of ice to last us probably five days. We were out of milk in one day. (We had evaporated and powdered milk, too, but had to dive into that faster than I would have liked.)
Good food keeps morale up. Eat together. Prepare it together. Clean up together. Like the military, no one should eat alone.
There is safety in numbers. We housed friends who live in a mobile home. They felt grateful to have a more solid roof, but the benefit ran both ways. More hands to take care of things. Children to play with each other. Adults to play with each other. We played cards and watched movies together. We laughed and talked and kept one another company. We cooked for each other. It was fun. It is MUCH BETTER than worrying alone.
Be careful who you invite! Our friends are wonderful. We get along great in good times. A sourpuss, negative nay-bob or chronic depressive kill-joy will do more damage than 100 mile an hour winds. So will a lazy leech. Working together, staying task-oriented calms the jitters and keeps energy productive instead of destructive.
Men are good. New York City can keep their metrosexuals. When times get tough you need a real man--two or three are even better. They lift heavy things. They nail things. They do dirty work. One thing I like about Texas is that there are plenty of real men. Now, it gets annoying, too. But when times get tough, the tough get going. A side effect of divorce and single-motherhood is that so many women are left with caring for children while also having to think about protecting children. The task is almost impossible alone.
Keep lots of bleach around. It kills germs and viri and is multi-use.
Keep childrens meds around. My teething kid went nuts and we had no way to help. He just suffered. Our nerves suffered as a result.
We needed more light. Had the electricity gone out, we would have been in the dark to conserve light. That would have stunk. We need some camping lights and I'm going to get some this week.
All families should have a notion of survival methods. No joke, I was harkening back to summer camp when we were all required to go on two and three day bivouacs where we boiled roots for drinks, used shovels to make latrines, etc. While not eager to employ said methods, I could if I had too.

That's it for right now. We did some things right. Unfortunately, we would have been caught underprepared had things gone wrong. As a single person with only myself as a responsibility that might be ok. With children, running out of food or supplies--I don't want to think about it.

Rita: Power Outages & Miscellaneous Worries

2005-09-25T12:11:00.000-07:00

We have power, but our friends still don't. This news about power restoration isn't encouraging, but sounds alarmist to me.

My biggest concern, not that state planners are consulting me or anything: Fuel. The people who are coming back will be out of gas once they get here and I have bad news--there is hardly any stations here with gas and the word gets out quick if there is any.

Another concern: what if a hurricane, terrorist attack, earthquake in California, tornado in Kansas, and the Great Lakes flooded all at the same time? We need a National Plan says the Army. Yes we do.

Rita: NOLA The Biggest Victim?

2005-09-25T11:58:00.000-07:00

Update: Brendan Loy says that Rita won't stall and it keeps moving Northeast, but that New Orleans is flooding anyway.

Has anyone considered how in the world NOLA is going to be rebuilt since it floods every time it rains? And, we are entering the rainy season. I have three words: LET HER GO. She has had a good life, longer than she should considering her inherent weaknesses. We could spend the resources in many other ways. Make the French Quarter an island. Let her go.

Via Instapundit, I just read that Hurricane Rita might hang a U-ey and travel toward....New Orleans. Unbelievable? Impossible? Maybe. Read more here.

Rita: Post Traumatic Stress Order

2005-09-24T16:27:00.000-07:00

No disorder here. Just relief. Some more friends over. Still have A/C. Some don't even around here.

My solution to removed stress? Eat, of course! (It is also my solution to stress, but I digress.)

Eating spaghetti and tacos (the real, really good Mexican kind) and cupcakes. That's a balanced meal, right?

Rita: The Woodlands Saturday Afternoon

2005-09-24T11:06:00.000-07:00

Peace and quiet, occasional zephyrs (look it up, it's a fun word to know--I learned it from Owl, Winnie-the-Pooh's friend, myself) and clouds.

Mr.Dr. went around with his video camera to see what happened. In another life, I am convinced that he was an amulance chasing lawyer. Anyhoo....A major tree down in the Sterling Ridge shopping center. A tree down in our little park.

It will take a few days to clean up, probably. Otherwise, it looks like Galveston and Beaumont and Port Arthur took the brunt.

Gratitude unbounding here.

Assigning Blame for Katrina (but a Good Life Lesson Generally)

2005-09-24T10:25:00.000-07:00

See commentary by Miami Herald-Tribune journalist Rod Thomson here.

Rita: The Aftermath in The Woodlands

2005-09-24T07:48:00.000-07:00

Mr. Dr. said to me yesterday, "This is going to be the biggest non-story."

I disagreed. Somebody was going to get hit. And for someone, this was going to be a very big story. But in one sense he was right: for us, so far, it has been a non-story.

While the rest of the household slept, the phone rang and my daughter answered and said, "No the hurricane didn't hit. We're ok and our friends are here. We're having fun." Pretty much sums it up for us.

At around 2 a.m., the wind pounded a bit and tree branches bounced off our windows which was a tad unnerving and woke me up. I woke Mr. Dr. up just in case a tornado brewed and we needed to get everyone to safety. We looked at the news and all looked ok.

Friends in Conroe have no power. Friends in Houston have no power. They have to wait 'til the wind dies down to fix it. So, these people are hot--although the temp outside I'd put in the high 80s not 100 like it has been. That's a blessing. Not sure they'll want their windows open if it's raining, though.

Another plus, all the schools in the area are filled with people who couldn't get anywhere. The plus is that we still have power so they are cool and dry and lit so no one is freaked out. I called one of the churches and the recorded message had a lady almost crying saying, "We are not a shelter. We are over capacity. I'm so sorry. Please find someplace else."

After we ascertain our friends safety, we might go and see what the people need close to us at McCullough.

That's it. Power, which means no looting, 'cuz the alarm systems are working. Power which means cool comfort. Power which means refrigerated food. Power which means clean water.

So far, we have power. Hallalujuah!